Experiencing Mom-shaming? Face It with This Method so that Their Mental Health is Maintained

Illustration (Karolina Grabowska/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Nowadays, the pressure on a mother after giving birth is quite heavy. Apart from having to adapt to their new duties, the women also have to deal with judgmental or critical comments about the way they give birth and how to raise their children.

Acts of demeaning, criticizing or judging a mother regarding the decision to give birth vaginally or cesarean, raising children, and even commenting on changes in physical shape can fall into the category of mom shaming. Mom-shaming can hurt mothers' hearts, which can lead to stress and not a little depression.

If you experience mom shaming, here's how to deal with it as reported on the Choosing Therapy page, Wednesday, September 13.

Prioritize Self-Care

After having children, mothers tend to put their own needs last. Without realizing it, this actually makes your experience of being a mother very draining. Try to prioritize yourself by practicing self-care and taking time to recharge. This simple activity can help you become more confident and emotionally resilient.

Focus on Personal Growth as a Parent

Instead of focusing on other people's comments, it's better to divert your energy into transforming into a better and happier version of yourself. Rethink your goals as an individual. Without considering other people's opinions, try to remember what your goals are as a parent.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Mom shaming can be driven by competition and comparison. However, remember that everyone has challenges and struggles in their lives, and there is no point in comparing how you feel on the inside to how someone else looks on the outside.

Be Confident in Your Decision

Once you've made decisions about parenting, stick to them. Trust that you are making the best decision with the information you have. Guessing will only increase feelings of insecurity and doubt. As well as inviting other people to give their opinions, so don't let yourself take that path.

Choose One or Two Trusted Sources to Get Information

There are so many sources of information out there about parenting, and many of them conflict with each other. Choose only one or two trusted sources – for example, a healthcare provider, a book, a family member, or a good friend.

When you need support, stick to those few trusted sources rather than experiencing information overload, ultimately leading to more confusion.

Find a support system

The best way to heal the shame and depression caused by mom-shaming is to explain it and talk to other people who understand it. Empathy and connection are the antidotes, you can join friend groups, social media or support groups in person or online.

Unfollow Social Media Accounts That Make You Feel Bad

If there are social media accounts that make you compare yourself negatively. Or it gives rise to feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, stop following the account.

Social media is a place to find fun and connection. There's no reason to follow accounts that actually make you feel worse. Follow social media accounts that focus on non-judgmental parenting methods in raising children.

Celebrate Small Successes

Celebrate every small achievement you achieve. This could be putting on some music and dancing. Call a friend or partner and share the story. Hug yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Celebrating wins helps shift your brain to focus on positive things and can help overcome self-doubt.

Set Boundaries

If someone offers advice when it's not asked for, it's okay to say no. You don't need to accept it. Try saying something like, “I'm not looking for advice right now, but thank you very much for your concern.” Remember that setting healthy boundaries can help you get better mentally.