Regarding The Intimacy Of Betrand Onsu For His Lifting Mother, Sarwendah: Physical Contact Of Parents And Children Is Important, But Must Be Limited

JAKARTA The relationship between the artist Sarwendah and her son, Betrand Peto Putra Onsu, has again attracted attention. The public considered the closeness of the two to be unreasonable.

The accusation arose because the physical touch that Betrand showed to Sarwendah was considered excessive. In the video that went viral on social media, Betrand can be seen kissing the lower cheek of his mother.

Betrand's kiss then invited various reactions from netizens. On the one hand, netizens considered it a form of Betrand's affection for Sarwendah.

But on the other hand, not a few also mention that the closeness of Betrand and Sarwendah is excessive and too intimate, especially considering that he is now 18 years old.

Physical contact between parents and children that has drawn controversy has not only happened to Sarwendah and Bertrand. Former England National Team captain David Beckham is also among those who are often criticized for kissing his daughter, Harper Seven Beckham.

Not long ago, Beckham uploaded his togetherness with Harper when his youngest child dressed his father. At the end of the moment, Beckham was seen landing a kiss on Harper's lips.

"The beautiful bond between father and son, but the kissing on the lips looks inappropriate. She's a teenage girl, not a toddler anymore," wrote a netizen's comment.

However, Beckham confirmed that his kiss of Harper was a form of affection for the only daughter.

"I got criticism for kissing my daughter on her lips. I kissed all my children's lips," said the former Manchester United player, quoted by the New Zealand Herald.

Physical touch between parents and children is basically recommended by psychologists because it has a lot of positive influence. This is done to build emotional ties. One of them is by hugging children eight times a day for 20 seconds to help the child's stimulus.

"This touch is really powerful. Because when there is a touch of affection, it secretes a hormone called oxytocin," said a child psychologist and teenager from the University of Indonesia's Applied Psychology Institute, Vera Itabiliana Hadiwidjojo.

"Well, this hormone between mother and child supports a sense of comfort, security, and feels close to mother. There is also research that says because she feels comfortable, calm, it also helps to be a tough child. So because she feels protected, she easily gets up again," he added.

Vera further explained, increasing the frequency of contact with children has a number of positive impacts. These include influencing the development of children's social and personality. For example, children are more confident, easy to get along with, and independent.

However, child psychologist Sani Budiant emphasized that parents still need to make restrictions on physical contact or touch for children, so that children can find out and distinguish what can be called sexual harassment. Parents must provide children with information on which areas can be touched or not by others.

"After being provided with this information, physical closeness with parents will not cause problems because children are expected to be able to distinguish between sincere and not touch," said Sani.

"But parents are also still expected to ask permission when they want to hug or kiss their children to teach children self-restrictions," he added.

On the other hand, clinical and forensic psychologist Kasandra Putranto said physical contact is one of the villages to communicate with children. It also helps children to regulate their emotions and perceptions.

However, Kasandra added, as children get older, children's ability to communicate verbally will also increase. It's different when they are young. So, parents also need to teach their children to recognize their privacy.

"The more mature, the child begins to recognize his own privacy and the limits of physical contact that he considers comfortable to accept. It would be nice if parents could appreciate the child's comfort regarding physical contact restrictions," Kasandra told VOI.

Kasandra said that physical contact that must be limited is physical contact that does not make children comfortable. In addition, parents also need to teach their children to be able to say no at the touch of other people whose parents are not parents are important so that children are more not at risk of sexual harassment.

However, not only to others, the child's refusal to physical contact with parents should also be appreciated. For this reason, the limitation of physical contact for children should also be adjusted to the convenience of children," explained this senior psychologist.

"Without knowing self-constraints and privacy, individuals will find it difficult to adapt to the social norms around them," he concluded.