Not Shouting Or Hitting, These Are 7 Strategies Parents Should Do When Their Children Act

Illustration (Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels)

JAKARTA - When children experience behavioral problems, you may be tempted to threaten with harsh penalties to "Keep them obedient."

This strategy can backfire, cause more negative behavior and create emotional distance when you and your child need closeness and understanding. When children act, it's actually because they are having a difficult time, not because they try to make it difficult for you. So it requires support from parents.

Here are seven positive parenting strategies that can be considered when children need help to fix Psych Central's behavior problems, Monday, August 5.

Set rules and limits, then apply them consistently

Rules and limitations tend to give children a sense of healthy parental structure and authority, instead of making them feel restricted. The more consistent you apply boundaries and consequences, the more likely your child will obey the rules you have set. Providing a structure like this can also help your child learn better and improve his academic achievements.

Don't scream

Shouting at children when you are annoyed with their behavior can increase the chances of children experiencing behavioral problems. Or symptoms of depression as a teenager, according to a 2014 study.

Shouting can create cycles:

Your child's attitude or behavior annoys you.

You shouted at him.

Shouting makes your child feel more angry and rebel.

If you feel that screaming is the main way to discipline your child, try to take a break from the situation once in a while when you start to feel annoyed.

Once calm down, you can talk to your child. This method is guaranteed to be more effective in controlling the problems that occur. After that, you can try to work with your child directly to resolve the conflict without raising your voice.

Validating children's feelings

When you acknowledge and validate your child's feelings, you show them that all their feelings, both positive and negative, are natural. And you will support them through whatever they feel. In turn, this support can help children develop strong socio-emotional skills and help them relate to others.

Give praise, don't punish

Try to focus on praising your child's positive behavior instead of criticizing or punishing them for their mistakes or bad behavior. Children often seek validation from your attention, and giving praise is a form of validation. Praise good behavior encourages children to repeat these positive behaviors to get attention and validation from you.

If you constantly criticize your child or punish them, they may continue to seek your attention by repeating behaviors you don't like. Praise, instead of punishing, can also improve the relationship between parents and children. One 2017 study suggested that parents should try to praise children four times more often than correcting them to fix behavioral problems.

Take time together with your children

It is important to provide at least 10 minutes every day to play with the child without interruptions, such as screens or other side conversations. Try doing activities you both like, such as making handicrafts or exercising.

Children long for and seek positive attention that is not divided between parents, and this is a way to make sure they get the best of you. Spending quality time focused on children can also help them in social and academic matters.

Show affection for your child regularly

According to a 2014 study, showing affection and comfort for children often makes them want to spend more time with you, which can improve the quality of parent-child relationships.

Cooperate with your child to solve the problem

Data from a 2014 study on the use of the internet by teens shows that children with supportive parents depend less on the internet. And more likely to use it for school than for recreational activities.

In particular, children tend not to use the internet. When parents discuss media content and encourage critical thinking about the material they find online.

As a parent, you want to be the best major source for your child. If your child comes to you with a problem or question, whether academic, social, or emotional, try working with them personally to help solve it, and offer attention and affection for what they are experiencing.