Continuously Looking For Approval From Couples, According To Experts: Drawing Low Self Prices

Illustration describes low self-esteem as it continues to seek approval from the pair (Freepik/stockking)

YOGYAKARTA There's nothing wrong with asking your partner's opinion about your activities. However, if you constantly ask for approval, it turns out that you describe low self-esteem.

No one wants to feel that their partner doesn't respect them. It doesn't mean you are constantly looking for external validation and make your partner seem impressed with your abilities. What if what comes is criticism and you are not ready for the unexpected?

A person may want to be an important part by seeking approval from others, including from his partner. According to Amber Price and colleagues from Brigham Young University, although you mean well, this can weaken self-awareness. In turn it can lead to self-silence where your thoughts and feelings are won by others. That means, constantly seeking approval from your partner can limit your capacity to be more intimate with your partner.

Self-expression may be manageable and expressed openly with your partner. But not to seek approval. This will make you have to make sure every step you will take. Even more unpleasant, for fear of disapproval, you will keep your own thoughts, feelings, frustrations, and disappointments.

Susan Karuss Whitbourne, Ph.D., ABPP. reported by Psychology Today, August 21, citing Price and his research colleagues, that people with high external self-perceptions have a low capacity of intimacy. Self-perceptions obtained from others, including from partners, are called external self-perceptions based on weak self-confidence. The need for high agreement characterizes those with low self-esteem.

After all, your partner is the most important person in your social world. Therefore, according to Whitbourne, you should base your behavior on what you think will be fun with your partner. You don't have to stop wanting your partner to agree to what you do. It's just that you need to do it after feeling safe in your own mind rather than seeking externalized self-validation.