To Prevent Misunderstanding, These 5 Things Every Couple Needs To Have

Illustration of misunderstanding in a couple (Pexels/Alex Green)

JAKARTA – Misunderstanding in relationships, especially with partners, is quite disturbing harmony. How not, if one says A but is understood as not A. Quite annoying isn't it?

In preventing misunderstandings between partners, it is enough to have a good communication foundation. And it is not difficult if you have the following 5 things.

1. Can listen to each other

Being a good listener is one capital to build a comfortable relationship. As stated by Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

“Misunderstanding can arise automatically once a partner is caught in a cycle of negative communication. They find it difficult to fix it," said Rastogi, quoted by PsychCentral, Monday, August 30.

Listening to your partner's perspective is key, explains Rastogi. Listening without criticizing can lead to problem solving.

2. Doesn't have to be 'right'

Instead of formulating a rebuttal, it's better to try to understand how the situation affects your partner. So advises Meredith Hansen, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in Newport, California.

"Couples who are stuck in this dynamic - a partner who always argues and does not recognize the situation his partner is facing - will end up getting hurt and one of them will withdraw," explained Hansen.

So focus on listening and not always being 'right'. Get to know your partner's situation and how they look at a problem to validate the emotional bond.

3. Focus on feelings

In addition to being a good listener and not debating what's right, it's also important not to ignore each other's feelings. According to Hansen, couples who focus on each other's thoughts when fighting make it tight and can't find a solution.

Before arguing, try to pause, take a deep breath, and find out how you feel. Then, share these feelings with your partner.

4. Know when to calm down

Everyone should understand the limits of 'safe' contention in a relationship. You and your partner need to know when to take a break and relax for a moment.

"When things start to get out of control, couples need to take an agreed-upon break and try to calm down during that time," explains Hansen.

Once both of you have calmed down, listen to each other's feelings and focus on solving both you and your partner's problems.

5. Treat your partner as an ally

Romance is built by two people working together. So we need to think of each other as allies, not enemies. If your partner sees each other as allies or a team, it can help prevent misunderstandings.