JAKARTA - Ressa Rizky is feeling a deep wound. For 23 years, he has been harboring a longing and deep pain related to his relationship with his mother, Denada.
Even though communication efforts have been made, Ressa admitted that he felt he was being played by Denada's attitude, which he considered contradictory.
Ressa revealed that he had received a short message via WhatsApp containing expressions of affection. However, the message seemed to be sweet on the screen, without any real action in everyday life.
"Yes, that's how it feels (being played). I mean, I'm confused, yes, on WhatsApp I'm like that but there is no clear confession," said Ressa Rizky in South Jakarta, not long ago.
Even though he had his mother's personal number, Ressa admitted that the communication never went both ways. Every time he tried to send a message, there was never a response. Ressa seemed to be facing a thick wall.
"Every time I WhatsApp, I never get a reply. Even though I have access (to the number), it still doesn't get a reply," he continued.
This condition makes his mental health shaken. Moreover, the story about his status as a child is often heard from other people's mouths, not directly from Denada.
This made him feel ashamed and became the subject of conversation in his hometown, Banyuwangi.
"It's broken... it feels broken. I'm ashamed of being scolded by many people, especially in Banyuwangi. My mental is broken," Ressa said emotionally.
Although he felt that he was not considered and ignored for decades, Ressa admitted that he did not hold a grudge. Behind his pain, there is a very simple desire, he just wants to be able to hug and kiss the figure who gave birth to him.
For Ressa, the status as a child will never fade regardless of the treatment she receives.
"But after all, she is still my mother. Ugly, she is still the one who gave birth to me," he said.
Ressa's fight to gain recognition was not without effort.
He admitted that he had visited one of the television stations in the hope of being able to meet Denada directly while working. But unfortunately, this effort yielded no results.
Now, Ressa can only swallow the bitterness when she sees the glass screen. There is an indescribable sense of suffocation when she sees Denada living in luxury and looking happy, while she herself has to fight in silence and pain.
When asked how he felt seeing Denada live an extraordinary life while he was suffering, Ressa was silent for a moment and sighed, showing a deep inner wound.
"Yes, that's it..." he concluded briefly.
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