Anxiety Behind Exclusivity, How to Relax and Let Yourself Be Ordinary

Illustration of Becoming Exclusive (Cottonbro Studio/Pexels)

JAKARTA - In an era of highly competitive and social media-filled spotlight, many of you are trapped in the pressure to be exclusive or extraordinary. Not just because of ambition, but because of the underlying anxiety.

Launching information from Psychology Today, Wednesday, December 31, traces how the need to be special is often rooted in the deepest fear of being "ordinary" and not being loved, a psychological dynamic that is often hidden behind one's achievements and brilliant image.

In the real story that was raised, a successful lawyer named Rebecca realized that her drive to always stand out in relationships and careers was not just about achievement. But the need for recognition that never satisfied. Since childhood, the praise he received only came when he was superior, while failure or daily needs made the people around him emotionally slack. This pattern formed his belief that being loved means being extraordinary. On the other hand, being "normal" is synonymous with being unworthy. In adult relationships, this then metamorphoses into a need for continuous affirmation and fear of real emotional involvement.

Psychologists such as Eddie Brummelman state that children who are told too often that they are superior to others tend to develop narcissistic traits. While those who receive unconditional love actually build a healthier self-esteem. Rebecca, without a stable sense of self-esteem from an early age, eventually sought recognition from outside herself. Through achievements and recognition from others, which unfortunately only provide momentary relief.

The solution offered is not to reject aspirations or ambitions, but to accept the fact that being "normal" does not mean it is worthless. According to the article, better self-awareness, including recognizing patterns of behavior driven by anxiety about exceptionalism, can help someone find value in stable and authentic relationships without constantly having to appear special. This concept invites you all to free yourself from the pressure of perfectionism in order to build a more calm and meaningful relationship and life.

In addition, it is also necessary to remember the importance of loving yourself for who you are. And celebrate the values in everyday life that may seem "ordinary" but are actually very human.