Good To Everyone, But Not Yourself? Recognize The 4 Signs

Photo illustration. (Doc. Freepic)

JAKARTA Often we really care and understand other people, but have difficulty being equally good to yourself. Many people feel that taking care of themselves is less important than being kind to friends or family. You even feel inappropriate to get that kindness. In fact, refraining from affection for yourself can actually harm mental and emotional well-being.

Here are your 4 good signs to everyone but not to yourself, as reported by the Forbes page on Saturday, December 6, 2025.

1. Criticize Yourself Too Often

We tend to be more patient and gentle when calming friends who make mistakes, but when those mistakes happen to ourselves, the voice of the heart often sounds sharper.

Research at Mindfulness (2018) shows that it is easier for people to feel affection for others than yourself. In fact, self-compassion is closely related to welfare, reduce depression, and increase positive emotions.

2. Always Prioritizing the Needs of Others

People who find it difficult to be full of love for themselves tend to put others first, even at the expense of their own health or energy.

Even though taking care of yourself is not selfish. Acknowledging feelings and difficulties in self-helping the mind and body to remain balanced, as well as building a strong basis for helping others in a sustainable manner.

3. Easy To Forgive Others But Difficult To Forgive Yourself

It is difficult to forgive yourself is a sign of a lack of affection for yourself. We can take other people's mistakes lightly, but continue to regret our own mistakes.

Research in the Journal of Happiness Studies (2020) explains that self-compassion involves acceptance of 'joint humanity', namely understanding suffering and failure is part of being human, not something that is embarrassing.

4. Difficult To Receive Support Or Kindness From Others

People who lack self-compassion often refuse assistance, praise, or comfort. Research at Mindfulness (2022) shows that receiving affection from others can help build self-compassion gradually. When feeling supported, self-care capacity increases, stress decreases, and welfare increases.

Why Does This Pattern Happen?

- Custody from the start. Exaggerated by the value of self-sacred or toughness can make you feel selfish.

- Perfectionism, which creates a desire to be perfect. This makes you criticize yourself constantly.

- Shame and fear of being vulnerable. Many people are afraid to open up to receive support.

How To Train Self-Compression

- Stop for a moment and be aware: Pay attention to thoughts and feelings without judging.

- Speak to yourself like a friend: Use a soft tone and remember mistakes are part of humans.

- Set limits and prioritize needs: Say not when necessary, rest, and do things that energize.

- Take small action for yourself: take a warm bath, enjoy your favorite food, or relax.

- Thank other people's support: Receiving assistance actually strengthens the ability to be kind to yourself.

Self-compassion is a skill that can be trained. By training it, you build a foundation for better resilience, balance, and well-being.