Two Sentences That Secretly Damage Relationships When Fighting

Illustration of sentences that damage relationships. (Freepic)

JAKARTA - In every relationship, differences of opinion and conflict are natural. No matter how harmonious or how long the relationship is, small quarrels will definitely occur. However, according to psychologists, it is not the main problem of conflict, but how your partner deals with it.

Healthy couples are not afraid to face conflict. They know that fighting can be a moment to understand each other and strengthen relationships.

On the other hand, unhealthy couples are often caught up in the wrong way of arguing. This changed the situation from initially calling "me against you", to "we have to fight the problem".

One of the most influential factors in exacerminating quarrels is the way to speak when emotions peak. Some sentences that sound trivial can actually make the relationship tenuous.

Reporting from the Forbes page, the results of research from Family, Systems, & Health and Behavior Therapy revealed that there are two sentences that should never be spoken to your partner, especially during a fight.

1. "Indeed I am like this person"

This sentence often appears when someone feels cornered by criticism or input from a partner. The natural reaction when criticized is to defend yourself, but saying 'Indeed I am like this' actually closes the door to communication.

For example, when your partner complains about your sarcastic jokes, you may answer, "Yes, I've been like this for a long time. You know too?". Even though it sounds like a form of honesty, this sentence actually shows a refusal attitude to change and refuses to understand your partner's feelings.

According to research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, lasting relationships are supported by adaptability and a desire to grow together.

When a person refuses to admit the impact of his behavior, the relationship will end with disappointment and emotional distance.

A healthy partner will respond openly, for example "I'm not aware that my jokes hurt you. I will try to be more careful going forward". A response like this shows empathy, a sense of responsibility, and a commitment to keeping the relationship healthy.

2. "Do you still love me or not?"

This sentence usually comes out when emotions are peaked or when a person feels insecure in a relationship. Even though it sounds romantic or full of feelings, asking this in the middle of an argument can have a negative impact.

The question "Are you still in love with me or not?", it can make your partner feel as if his love is always being tested. Even though the issues discussed may not have anything to do with love, but other things such as communication, habits, or differences of opinion.

According to research from Procedia Social and Behavioral Sciences, this kind of question can turn into a form of emotional stress, because it makes couples feel guilty just for conveying honesty or criticism. In the long term, this can erode trust and a sense of security in relationships.

A healthy partner can still show a sense of need and insecurity without pressing his partner. For example, by saying, "I still feel away from you, can you hug me for a while?". Sentences like this are more honest and build closeness, without making your partner feel the need to prove his love every time there is a problem.