YOGYAKARTA - The past often feels like a shadow that follows every step, sometimes makes it difficult for the heart to move forward. Many people choose to forget, even though the healthier one is to make peace with the past. Making peace does not mean giving up on the situation, but accepts that what has happened is part of your journey. Here are practical ways that can help you be more relaxed and calm in dealing with memories that may not always be beautiful.
The first step in making peace with the past is to empathize with the one you've lived in. Often, we judge the old decision with the current glasses, so it feels full of mistakes and regret. In fact, in the past you may have made the best decisions based on your understanding and experience. By looking at the past more gently, you learn not to be too harsh on yourself. This empathy becomes the basis for starting the healing process and accepting a once fragile side of yourself.
No human being is always strong or always right, and vulnerability is a natural thing. Sometimes, shame or disappointment makes you reject the part of yourself that looks weak. In fact, accepting vulnerability can actually pave the way to get closer to yourself. You are no longer busy covering or denying weaknesses, but learning to see it as part of a life journey. When the vulnerability is accepted, the feeling of relief and space to grow becomes bigger.
To forgive yourself is often the most difficult, but also the most relief. According to sports psychology and parenting expert Jim Taylor Ph.D., when you continue to blame yourself, the wounds of the past will feel deeper. Giving forgiveness means admitting that you are a human being who can be wrong, and at the same time has the right to improve yourself. This is not an excuse to forget your responsibilities, but a way to reduce your inner burden. By forgiveness yourself, you give yourself the opportunity to step up with a lighter heart.
Nothing can change what has happened, and keep assuming it just gets you caught in regret. Taylor's advice reported by Psychology Today, Friday, October 3, accepting reality is a form of maturity in the face of life. You can say to yourself, "Yes, that's indeed part of my story."
When regret is slowly released, the energy that was previously drained can be diverted to new things that are more meaningful. From here, the journey to inner peace can really start.
Making peace does not mean rejecting responsibilities, but actually daring to admit it. There may be past actions that leave an impact on others, and it needs to be realized honestly. When you want to take responsibility, guilt turns into an impetus to improve the situation. This shows maturity and readiness to move wiser in the future.
If possible, you can take concrete actions to make up for mistakes in the past. It can be in the form of apologizing, correcting something, or doing small good as a form of change. Real action will give relief for showing that you don't just stop at regret. Even if not everything can be corrected, but trying for small things remains meaningful and strengthens the heart.
After accepting the past, it's time to decide who you want to be. Imagine what values, goals, and habits you want to realize. This process is not a matter of being perfect, but develops one step in stages. That way, the past is no longer a burden, but rather a foothold to move. The best version of yourself grows from an old experience that is now understood wisely.
The last step is to live life with all your heart. After making peace, you can focus more on what is really important to you today. Maximum life doesn't mean it's always big and great, but full of awareness and honesty to yourself. You can find meaning in simple things though, as long as you live it sincerely. That way, the past will no longer hold back, but will give color to the journey of your life now.
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Making peace with the past is not a sign of surrender, but a sign of courage to accept yourself completely. The eight simple steps above can help you look forward to your lighter and more confident. The process is not instant, but every small effort will bring about a significant change. It is important to remember that every experience, both sweet and bitter, is part of the journey to be you today.
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