Unlike Self-Care, Psychologists Express Signs And Reasons People Can Be Selfish

Selfish illustration (Photo: Freepik/drobotdean)

JAKARTA - People who are too self-centered usually only focus on their needs, desires, and problems, without considering many others.

Unlike self-cares that undergo a healthy and balanced mindset, this trait can appear in a daily pattern, where a person always puts himself above all else, even if it harms others.

licensed clinical psychologist, Aimee Daramus, PsyD, explains the signs of someone who is too selfish. Here are 6 signs that a person can be selfish, as reported by the Verywell Mind page.

1. Dominating Conversations

According to Daramus, people who are self-centered usually talk the most in conversations. The topic of conversation often only revolves around their lives, achievements, or problems.

2. Lack of empathy

Empathy means being able to put oneself in the position of others. However, people who are too selfish often have difficulty understanding the feelings of others.

3. Take More Than Give

Relationships with selfish people often feel one-sided. You may feel you have tried a lot to maintain a relationship, but don't get reciprocal.

4. Want Everything According to His Will

They find it difficult to compromise. For example, when choosing a restaurant or film, decisions must always be in their hands.

"Usually they don't let other people choose," said Dr. Daramus.

5. Quickly Blame Others

People like this find it difficult to admit mistakes. Instead of being responsible, they tend to throw mistakes at others.

6. Always Want to be the center of attention

When they focus on moving on other people, they usually try to pull them back. It can be done by inserting stories to compete with other people, or even entertaining people with stories about themselves.

"They could have intended to entertain, but in the end, it still makes the situation center on them," said Dr. Daramus.

A selfish attitude often makes social relations unbalanced. People who are selfish usually prioritize their own interests over others.

According to experts, this behavior does not just appear. There are many factors that can make a person grow up to be selfish. Here are the reasons why a person can be too selfish.

1. Custody Pattern

One of the biggest factors that shape selfish traits is parenting. The way parents educate their children from childhood will greatly affect how children see themselves and others.

"If from a young age he is taught that only he is important, then as an adult he may not realize that his attitude seems selfish," said Dr. Daramus.

2. Childhood Rejection

According to Yolanda Renteria's counselor, LPC, not paying attention when he was little can make a person really need to be considered when he grows up.

3. Trauma

A traumatic experience can instill the belief that they can only rely on themselves.

4. Social factors

People's norms also have an effect. For example, the belief that rich people deserve to be rich and feel entitled to everything.

5. Mental Health Condition

Mental health conditions also play a role in the emergence of selfish traits. A study in 2020 found a connection between self-centered (self-centered) properties with depression and high levels of neurotism.

6. Neurodivergence

Disorders such as social anxiety or autism sometimes look like self-centered attitude.

7. Sociopathy

At the extreme level, selfish traits can arise in people with antisocial personality disorders.