Getting To Know The FAFO Trend In Child Care Patterns, Follow Tips And How To Practice It

Illustration of the parenting trend called FAFO or find out and figure out (Freepik)

YOGYAKARTA FAFO is an acronym for finding out and figure out which is one of the parenting trends and is widely discussed, especially as an alternative to gentle parenting style. This style of parenting, children are allowed to face natural consequences of their own choices, without excessive intervention from their parents. Launching Parents, Friday, August 22, this method emphasizes direct experience as the best teacher by letting children 'try first, study themselves' as long as the situation is safe.

Please note, the purpose of FAFO parenting teaches children to try and learn for themselves about consequences, not frustration relief. This parenting also opens up space for children to learn responsibility in a realistic way. This is not a new parenting style, but this trend has resurfaced as a reaction to overprotective parenting, as reported by The Wall Street Journal.

FAFO parenting patterns have an advantage in training children's independence and emotional resilience. When children experience a real impact from their decisions, for example forgetting to bring jackets and feeling cold, the lesson is more inherent than just words of neglect or long lectures. Reported by The Bump, clinical psychologist Kahlila Robinson, said that dealing with mild frustration related to the presence of parents actually helps build emotional regulation and toughness in children. This approach also hones the ability to think causal and give children confidence that they can overcome themselves.

But not without risk, on some extreme instances such as forcing children to bear financial losses even if they come back for family financial reasons, are considered unfair emotionally. Gen Muir's parenting expert warns that consequences have to be logical so as not to build shame or confusion in children. Dr.tur Kennedy also emphasized that FAFO must be balanced. Not to let children 'fall alone', but to keep them feeling emotionally secure and stay connected to you.

ideal FAFO parenting is used in a safe and not threatening situation. For example, children forget to bring provisions or jackets, and the consequences are only in the form of a short uncomfortable feeling, not a detrimental hazard. Therefore, you continue to explain at the beginning that this is the child's choice, and after the consequences occur, invite to discuss what can be done differently. The point is, FAFO does not mean stopping caring, but choosing the moment.

FAFO parenting is a prominent trend because it places children as actors in the learning process through natural consequences. Of course on the condition that they are safe and caring. This parenting pattern can help grow independence, problem solving skills, and emotional resilience if applied with good intentions and clear boundaries.