5 Ways To Express Feelings Without Making Your Partner Burdened

Illustration of how to express feelings without making your partner burdened (Freepik/yalalya)

YOGYAKARTA "Strengthening feelings will not make a person's life authentic. But expressing feelings must be wise, especially in a couple's relationship. Honesty is important, but sometimes makes your partner feel burdened. So so that it's not in a dilemma, here's how to express feelings without making your partner burdened.

Emotions that are expressed repeatedly will certainly damage relationships. Couples will bear a heavy burden. Not to mention the risk of eroding trust if you continue to express criticism that actually represents expectations or expectations.

Undisclosed emotions can also create hatred and stretch the distance. So, finding a middle ground is a suggestion from the author and licensed relationship coach John Amodeo, Ph.D., MFT.

Before expressing your feelings or point of view, take a moment to 'mirror'. This reflection means consider your partner's reactions. Recognize whether these situations can be safe enough to share feelings. Coincidence is also important, ranging from word selection, right time, to wise response. This means that it doesn't mean it's wrong or right, but rather whether it's appropriate or not if feelings or thoughts at that time are expressed.

Fear, hurt, and shame often trigger emotional eruptions that are expressed with anger and blame. These vulnerable feelings need to be expressed gently. Even though it's uncomfortable, it builds security and emotional relationships with your partner. Amodeo's advice, the way that can be done by saying I feel a little vulnerable, is now the right time for you to listen without interruption and are you okay?.

Keep in mind, don't take too long because everyone has a limited range of attention. So stop for a moment, and check how your vulnerability is accepted by your partner. Be yourself but still hold on to being reactive.

As explained above, recognize the situation experienced by important partners. According to Amodeo, every couple needs to decide what is suitable for them. Sometimes, it is wiser to calm down and not reveal everything so that it has the potential to cause conflict.

"It takes awareness and wisdom to distinguish when to express or accept everything as it is," explained Amodeo as quoted by Psychology Today, Tuesday, January 7. To select feelings or thoughts that can express, it requires self-awareness, know your partner, and learn from experience.

How to express feelings without making your partner burdened, does require trial and error. However, knowing the situation and knowing yourself is a capital in communicating vulnerable things that burden one person in a couple relationship.