Looking For A Quality Couple? Here Are 6 Criteria

Illustration (Gustavo Fring/Pexels)

JAKARTA - When dating new people, you may have a list of the traits that this person wants to have, for example, humorous, caring, and romantic. Of course, this criterion is worth considering. But when you start considering your lover as a potential life companion, then there is a quality in yourself that is more worthy of attention.

"When judging whether or not someone deserves to be a life partner, there are several things that must be considered in him," said Dr. David Rachasky, licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Wellington Counseling Group.

The goal is to make the time you spend your life with your partner more fun and free from wedding dramas, continued Racosky.

The first character must have is a strong foundation. That is, the person has strong physical, emotional, social, financial, and life goals, according to Lori Kret, LCSW, BCC, and co-founder of the Aspen Relations Institute.

"It doesn't have to be a popular, wealthy, fit, and successful person. The important thing is to be able to stand alone in every aspect of life or actively try to do it," continued Kret.

These aspects are not only beneficial for the person, but also for you as his partner. Because, establishing a relationship with someone responsible for your own welfare allows you not to fill in gaps in terms of self-respect, self-confidence, and security.

In any relationship, communication is key. Couples should not only be able to express themselves, but can also listen to your needs and concerns. Share your feelings and needs clearly and straightforwardly help increase feelings of intimacy, as well as closeness to each other. Couples who are good at communicating make life easier. You don't have to be busy guessing and trying to understand your partner and their needs.

No partner will always agree 100 percent in everything with you. However, having the same values and attitudes towards the main pillars of life is very important. For example, how to raise children to how to manage finances.

One partner can influence the other partner in several aspects, Racosky continued. But it will be very helpful when you start by identifying your values and then discussing them with your partner to find out their value.

Dr. Ashley Head, a licensed clinical psychologist at Thriveworks in Hoffman Estates, says a good partner should be able to consider your opinions, values, and feelings. In addition, it is also important for your partner to show respect for your personal boundaries.

Everyone must agree not to go beyond the limits of their partner, even if they are disappointed, injured, or angry, "said Head.

Accepting respect is also important in helping you maintain your self-esteem and know your self-worth.

Empathy is the ability to recognize and understand other people's emotions. While this may not be the quality that comes to mind for the first time, empathy is very important for the success of relationships. A 2022 study found that empathy is related to relationship satisfaction.

Empathizing couples are more likely to experience loneliness and insecurity if they are dissatisfied with their relationship, compared to those who lack empathy.

In addition, having an empathetic partner helps you feel better listened and understood in that relationship. This not only helps create a sense of satisfaction, but also helps build trust and respect.

Everyone likes to show and receive affection in different ways. Some are very sensitive, some show love through practical actions. But if this is not in line with a partner in a relationship, it can cause frustration, even feelings of rejection.

"Look at a partner who is able to communicate his love for you in a way that suits what makes you feel desired and loved," said Racosky. This is one of the basic ideas behind Five Love Languages [designed by Gary Chapman in the 1980s.