JAKARTA - Most people view jealousy from a negative point of view. Many think that people are jealous because they feel anxious and insecure about their relationship. Or as people who are too possessive and angry, and are suspicious of every action taken by their partner.
If viewed from a different point of view, the prospective partner could be because he feels too happy with his relationship. And wants to build a basis for trust by expressing his needs and limitations.
If you feel jealous, there is no need to hide it in your heart. Express feelings of jealousy honestly, directly, and strengthen yourself. But also pay attention to your partner's emotions and boundaries.
Some people are more prone to jealousy than others, especially people with low self-esteem, insecurity, and anxiety. Being lonely and having a disorder attachment style can also make you more likely to experience jealousy in a romantic relationship.
Reporting from Very Well Mind, Tuesday, February 20, try taking into account your reactions to your relationship, behavior, or activity that triggers jealousy. This can give you insight into what is going on and what your jealous feelings may reveal.
It's best not to start a conversation with high emotions. If possible, take time to write what you want to say before, because this can help you gather thoughts.
Train yourself what you want to say or have a virtual conversation with friends. Do deep breathing and meditation before expressing jealousy if the method is successful for you.
Your partner will easily take a defensive stance if you start mentioning everything he does that makes you jealous. Instead, pay attention to your feelings and worries, instead of blaming or accusing.
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Expressing feelings of jealousy in relationships and waiting for your partner's reaction to what you said, may require several conversations. The hope is that your partner can listen to your feelings, and express their feelings. This conversation can also be an opportunity to discuss "rules" in the relationship so that feelings of jealousy can be prevented.
Sometimes conversations with your partner about jealousy don't go the best you expect. This is understandable because jealousy is a very strong and challenging emotion. Many couples benefit from several sessions with therapists to overcome these feelings.
Your partner's therapy can offer space to express your feelings, learn more effective communication skills and conflict resolutions, gain a better understanding of the stress triggers that exist in your relationship, and increase trust.
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