JAKARTA - When you listen to someone talking about life or the problem, you may be tempted to give advice. In fact, advice is not always needed.

For that, there is a way to listen without giving advice or stating what you would do if you were in that person's position. While it may have a similar experience with the person you listen to, sometimes that person may only want a good listener.

When someone shares important things and you want to do something to overcome it, you should first ask before taking action, reported by Psych Central, Tuesday, January 2. Sometimes someone just wants to listen to it. Giving advice or trying to take action on your own, especially if you're not asked, can make the situation worse.

You can ask, 'Do you just want to listen to or want to hear your story?'

So active listeners need the ability to focus on the current and what people are telling stories about.

Research from 2022 on actively listening suggests the following tips for practicing to be a better active listener:

Listening actively can help you listen without providing input.

Being a good listener needs to validate the feelings of people who tell stories. Validating other people's feelings can be a powerful means of communication.

Validating a person's feelings can be in the form of conditioning sentences such as;

I can understand why it's a challenge for you.

I would also be angry if it happened to me.

"I'm sad it happened, you don't deserve it."

"I think you handled the situation well, I'm proud of you."

Validating a person's feelings shows the speaker that you understand what they are communicating with.

When someone complains, throwing lots of ideas and suggestions is tempting. If you give advice too quickly or tell the person what you're going to do if in his position. He may feel insecure about revealing his message.

Avoid judging what the person says and provide support rather than advice. If you embarrass someone for expressing his emotions, it's likely that he won't believe or talk to you anymore.

Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else's position rather than feeling sorry for that person. When you really understand the situation that a person may be in, it will be easier to provide support.

Listening actively and showing empathy for the interlocutor can help train empathy. You can share challenging or pleasant experiences with the speaker. And show that you understand your emotions can show that you are a person who is safe to talk to.

It's very important to ask other people if they want to hear your experience before taking the initiative to tell it. When talking to someone, you may want to feel understood or hope other people can understand what you're saying. Instead of giving advice, sometimes there's a point in sharing stories about similar problems you've been through and how to get through them.

Sharing stories can be useful, but can also be disguised as advice packaged in a story. If you are considering using this method, try using it carefully and don't forget to ask before.


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