6 Concerns Couples Feel During Sexual Relations

Illustration of the concerns that couples feel during sexual intercourse (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA There are many concerns regarding sexual intercourse in couples who are long-term committed. However, not many therapists, sex educators, and psychologists provide training on sexual issues in general. So that a lot of unanswered concerns. According to licensed sex and psychotherapist therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D., here are six concerns about your partner during sex.

Most people don't realize that having fantasy is common and normal, especially sexual-related fantasies. But very little is about their partner. But according to Klein, as long as sexual fantasies are based on consent and do not have serious consequences, they are not taboo and normal.

Culture is obsessed with young people, so it is not surprising that people think that any changes related to age are considered bad. If we can recognize sexual changes related to age, accompanied by clear thoughts, managed appropriately, then anxiety can be overcome. For example, if it takes longer to be aroused, it can explore and allocate more time for intimate activities with your partner.

Stereotip sometimes causes concerns about performance in sexual intercourse with partners. Sometimes people think male sexual desire is lower than that of women. Given this stereotype is worrying, it is better to seek valid information. As Klein said as reported by Psychology Today, August 30, that everyone's libido varies depending on mood, personal hygiene, relationship circumstances, and monthly cycles in women. So, it is better to evaluate biological, psychological, and certain situations rather than worry about things based on stereotypes.

Questions like 'how can my partner touch in a different way', 'why my partner doesn't respond to stimulation', and so on need to get answers. These concerns can be resolved by getting to know each other's preferences. That way you will know what you like, what you need to explore, and how to improve your performance in order to achieve varying pleasure. So, in order not to be monotonous, your partner needs to be open about each other's sexual needs.

Everyone has certain body conditions. To want and respond sexually, they need to adjust to their body condition. For example, a healthy person will not be aroused if they are angry, injured, or afraid. That is, Klein straightened out the definition of dysfunction, which is a side effect of treatment or a health condition. He suggests that partners discuss concerns related to sexual dysfunction and sexual life as a whole.

Klein handles cases of cheating and infidelity every week. Many factors cause or encourage fear of infidelity. Because he is suspicious and eventually makes his partner uncomfortable, or because of short or small sex, until finally he doesn't have sex. This does not mean he has no affection, but excessive vigilance can stretch the distance between two people who are committed to pairing.

Trying to get through the thinness of trust, suspicious of cheating, or actually cheating, does not limit a person from developing. So, the impact of this crisis that affects sexual life needs to be overcome, for example by consulting with professional therapists, psychotherapists, and psychologists who help couples have open dialogue.