To Overcome Mutual Relations That Are Increasingly Overwhelmed, Expert Advice: Needs To Change Perspective

Illustration of expert suggestions to overcome the increasingly tiring pair relationship (Freepic/Pressphoto)

YOGYAKARTA Couple relationships feel heavy and tiring, according to experts, it is necessary to change the perspective so that it will feel as fun as we are playing. Why is it tiring? Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., noted that there is a lot of understanding that relationships are like work that will be happy if every partner contributes to doing their job well. But it turns out, considering relationships as a job can be burdensome.

Work is often associated with making money, career path, and success. What about relationships based on commitment, love, and integrity with partners?

In relationships it takes so much work. This may make you and your partner feel burdened or not infrequently colored by boredom. Launching Psychology Today, Friday, March 10, Cohan wrote that work implies something that must be done. Especially when you want to achieve something within a certain period of time. We work, for the sake of money, success, progress, achieving a certain form, structure, and everyday goals. If we are lucky, we can find meaning through our work and feel appreciated for doing so.

Work usually contains aspects of control and hierarchy. Often there is also a struggle for power, even hatred. In the workplace, we are often limited, regulated, according to procedures, and follow work guidelines. But in relationships like 'work', it can drain energy. This is because we tend to contact other people to feel understood. By using a plug pattern 'work' in a relationship, maybe we also try to prove ourselves, show feasibility, and even outperform others.

Cohen offers different perspectives, namely considering relationships in relationships as in the game. When playing, implicit freedom, experimentation, adventure, spontaneity, and creativity. In the game, every participant who 'plays' also believes in each other. They are comfortable and think of each other as the best.

A more felt relationship like playing has an advantage because it feels lighter, freer, and more spacious. We can reconnect with who we really are, even feeling about our innerness. The great benefit of a pleasant relationship is that relationships tend to be built on love and admiration, rather than insults, so that our time and energy can be directed to other things that are important for us in our lives, and we can return to rest in the past.

Relations perspectives such as playing are researched by psychologist Rene Proyer. In play, partners can reveal the extent to which they strengthen communication, resilience, and overall relationship satisfaction.