Why Is It So Hard To Be A Good Person? This Is The Explanation According To Psychology

Illustration of why it's hard to be a good person (iStockphoto)

YOGYAKARTA – Have you ever received a “you are a good person” compliment once? This compliment turns out to be quite often obtained but living it is not as easy as imagined. In children, the praise is often given by their parents as a form of pride and approval.

Praise is good, it turns out to be embedded in the child's mind. Launching Psych Central, Friday, July 29, praise is often associated with getting a lot of reward, getting an equally good reward, or making him lucky one day. However, praise can also curb negative emotions and unacceptable behavior because it will lead to punishment. Praise is also often given to prevent bad behavior. Although to a certain extent, the behavior of giving praise can hinder the psychological development of individuals into mature adults.

Every human being has a complete range of emotions and impulses, both positive and negative. In fact, each person has the capacity for love and hate, peace and anger, joy and depression. Of course everyone chooses love, peace and joy. Then where are the emotions of hate, anger, to depression?

The energy of negative emotions cannot be suppressed. When parents instruct their children to be kind, they are forced to suppress negative emotions and impulses that are not accepted by their environment. In analytical psychology, suppressing negative impulses and emotions is called a shadow, which can be experienced by children and carried over into adulthood.

Illustration of why it's hard to be a good person (iStockphoto)

Psychologists also understand the role of the subconscious mind. That is, we are not aware of what motivates most actions, thoughts, and decisions.

Furthermore, the human mind has an unlimited capacity for self-deception. Outside of their consciousness, there are people who believe in pure goodness. But there are also those who commit the most immoral crimes. That means that the motivation for good or bad behavior is not always understood or even realized.

There is a saying that describes the situation why quitting being a good person is not always realized, even sometimes it is done as an attempt to deceive oneself. The saying goes 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

In identifying yourself as a 'good person', you will consciously try to do good only for yourself and others. But on the other hand, good behavior goes unrecognized and only as a way of expressing an unwillingness to be bad.

Carl Jung's statement, 'I'd rather be whole than be good'. In integrating Jung's perspective, there is a tendency to 'less good' self. That is, everyone has a choice as to how to respond to their environment.

Experts also point out that being a good person is often linked to depression and anxiety. So they suggest liberating a large amount of negative energy by directing it to interests and skills. Well, repressed self-emotions, like negative emotions, can be released in other ways. For example with traditional Chinese medicine using Qigong.

In principle, the reason why it is difficult to be a good person is because in human emotions there are positive and negative emotional poles. They do not contradict each other and cannot be destroyed, but they need to be observed, recognized, understood, and then controlled so as not to harm others around them.