When You Lose, Here Are 7 Life Lessons Learned

Illustration when lost (iStockphoto)

YOGYAKARTA – Trauma or the 'quiet' moment after a loss has been shown in several studies to be able to bring about post-traumatic growth. Growth after loss is more on the positive side, which improves psychological well-being.

According to a physician and author who specializes in holistic, and integrative medicine, Chris Gilbert, MD., Ph.D., there are lessons to be learned from the moment after a loss. The following is reported by Psychology Today, things that make a person wiser when they lose.

1. Don't lose yourself

Despite losing everything, one can find oneself instead. At the time of loss, the feeling of sadness cannot be denied. But the lesson learned when you lose, you can do everything so you don't lose yourself.

2. Appreciate what you still have

When you lose, life feels on the verge. It's even like an illusion when a missing figure isn't by his side. But this situation makes one realize that the important thing in the world is to appreciate what one still has. With people who provide support, they embody strength, wisdom, and a solid circle of support systems.

Illustration when lost (iStockphoto)

3. Realizing that there is no important reality other than the inner reality

Learning from loss, a person will be more aware that inner reality is important in living the process of life. It's not what happens that makes you sad, but how one interprets it as a wheel of life that cannot be completely controlled. That way, inner reality becomes an important thing to manage.

4. Never lose hope

Gilbert describes a parachute that will only work optimally when you jump. At that time, you survived perfectly. According to him, hope is one of the few sources responsible for self-peace. So, a person who has experienced loss will never lose hope.

5. Realizing that nothing is permanent

Einstein once discovered scientifically that energy never dies but changes form. This is also what can be learned when you lose. That nothing is permanent, everything will change at an unplanned time. That is, self-confidence and happiness are not gifts but habits. These two things are what keep a person standing when he loses.

6. Instead of negative thinking, kindness leads to wise love

Positive thinking and doing good things will lead to wise love. When you lose a loved one, someone will love life more and love the person they have in their entirety.

7. Acceptance is a power

Acceptance is not a weakness, but a strength. Gilbert wrote, we cannot change the past and we have to accept what happened even if it was an unpleasant hardship. That is, accepting is the greatest thing you can do when you lose something meaningful in life.

Those are the seven lessons learned after losing. Fear and trauma require a process to be reconciled. But appreciating what you have experienced as well as the strength you have is the wisest way to live life.