5 Impacts Of Selfish Parents On Children's Emotional Growth

Illustration of the impact of selfish parents (Unsplash/Izzy Park)

YOGYAKARTA – Self-centered parents create bad psychological relationships with their children. Because of this attitude, children serve the ego of their parents. Psychological responses from the attitude of selfish parents, children are more likely to form a personality that is prone to conflict.

What effect does selfish parenting have on their children? The following, reported by Psychology Today according to Christine BL Adams, MD., psychiatrist and assistant author of Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships.

1. Children's emotional needs are not fulfilled

Parents who do not empathize with their child's emotional needs may create jealousy. Parents become jealous of the steps their children take when they are themselves. Poor parent-child relationship creates reciprocity that is incompatible with the child's growth, development, and well-being.

The nature of the parent-child relationship is summarized by Nina W. Brown, EdD, LPD, in Children of the Self-Absorbed and also by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

According to the two books, selfish parents manipulate children to ensure that the spotlight of admiration remains on the parents. That way, the emotional needs of children are not considered properly.

2. Low self-esteem and self-confidence of children

Low self-esteem can in turn create anxiety and depression, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, and runaway behavior. There are all sorts of consequences for children to suffer from growing up with selfish parents.

Illustration of the impact of selfish parents (iStockphoto)

More specifically, Adams explained that when a child's individuality is ignored, it affects self-esteem and self-confidence. Children will respond to the selfishness of parents differently based on the child's personality style. The style is created by how a child is emotionally conditioned in the family.

3. Children are forced to complete heavy 'work'

Fighting is a way for kids to focus on themselves. When parents are selfish and children have to fulfill their parents' needs, they will form a power even though their parents don't want them.

In their subconscious, children believe strongly psychologically to meet the needs and demands of their parents, no matter how difficult it may be for them. Because the goals they achieve are to satisfy their parents' wishes, when they fail they will feel guilty, berate themselves, lose self-esteem, and self-confidence.

4. Children imitate their parents

Adams gives an analogy, there are two peas in one pod. Parents and children can have the same personality. In the end, parents and children compete fiercely to be the most selfish person. When a dead end is reached, one of the parties may back down in some way, such as running away from home, injuring himself or herself, or getting into legal trouble.

5. Children often neglect themselves

Adams and colleagues found that children with selfish personalities often mate with selfish partners. They focus on pleasing and caring for their partner. Even children with selfish parents can neglect themselves in relationships.

Adams advises parents, it is necessary to remove some of the emotional conditioning. Parents also need to raise their children in a reasonable manner, listen to their needs, consider their point of view, and apply disciplined and wise guidance.