Toxic Mindsets That Can Destroy Relationships, Can Be Dispelled With These 5 Ways

Illustration of dispelling a toxic mindset that can destroy a relationship (iStockphoto)

YOGYAKARTA – Thought patterns influence a person's feelings and behavior. If the thought pattern is toxic, then feelings and behavior become a negative feedback loop.

According to licensed psychologist Nicole Issa, Psy.D., negative thought patterns can destroy very good relationships. Negative thoughts can cause problems, as can a childhood experience that caused you to think you weren't worthy of love. When entwined in a relationship, the thought that your partner will leave will become a ghost that is hard to define.

Joann Cohen, dating coach told Bustle, says that reality in relationships is created from trust. If the couple both believe that the relationship is good, then from the trust they will work on how the relationship remains good. If you build a relationship with negative thoughts, not only will you get a negative response from your partner but the results of the relationship will also not be good. To prevent negative thought patterns from having a negative effect on your relationship, here's how to get rid of them.

1. Separate past and present

Letting go of the past is not easy to say. But if you keep bringing old experiences into new relationship experiences, then you can be self-sabotaging yourself and creating the reality that things aren't going to work out. To prevent toxic thoughts from creating unwanted realities, try to separate the past from the present.

Illustration of dispelling a toxic mindset that can destroy a relationship (iStockphoto)

2. Channel energy to stay rational

Toxic thoughts have a way of making you do irrational things and sabotage relationships. To curb so that actions remain conscious and rational, Issa's doctor suggests finding things to channel energy such as improving skills.

Instead of spending time looking for validation or reassurance that your partner still cares, it's better to fill the time with something positive. Issa's advice again, practice some skills to lower intense feelings so they won't act in a way you'll regret later.

3. Never assume you know what your partner is thinking

When you project negative thoughts on the people closest to you, what you catch is negative things from that person. So, advises Cohen, never assume. Don't jump to conclusions. Everything, communicate with your partner and never assume that you know how they feel.

4. Write down toxic thoughts and make alternative positive thoughts

One of the best things to do is to reflect, by writing down all your thoughts that led up to the fight. Once you've written it down, find alternative thoughts that are more accurate and adaptive.

5. Tell someone you can trust

Talking to someone else, or a professional, can quell haunting thoughts and anger. Cohen's advice, if you really have to vent, pick just one person. Stories in many people will only breed negative thoughts.

The above are ways to deal with toxic thoughts that have the potential to destroy a relationship. Since thoughts are not reality, avoid letting thoughts keep you from being happy.