JAKARTA – Happiness is wanted by everyone, but it is not easy to get it. In fact, there are lots of strategies, steps, and ways to feel happy. But actually happiness is not only related to material things. For example, a person can be happy during a weekend staycation in a luxurious place. While others just spend time at home with family, and feel happy.
This means that you don't always have to have a lot of material to feel happy. Here are the reasons why material things don't guarantee someone's happiness.
1. Materials make us trapped and compare ourselves to othersThings that are visible, such as branded bags, luxury vehicles, and magnificent homes, often get us trapped. According to clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Stony Brook University's Renaissance School of Medicine, John G. Cottone, Ph.D., comparing oneself makes one often fall into the trap of material relativity.
So there's no need to set a standard that he has A while I have B, that's why he's happier. It is not material possessions that makes people happy but self-acceptance that comes in a situation.
Try changing perceptions, says Cottone. The standards we use are almost always relative because we compare with our peers. These standards shape our self-image and happiness, you know. That is, because the reference is that standard, we don't recognize our own feelings. This causes life to be far from happy and can even make you discouraged.
3. People who are fulfilled also don't necessarily feel happyIn practice, Cottone handles a client whom he calls Lena. Lena is an affluent person and is not lacking anything materially. But he was not happy because he often deceived himself, one of them by buying a bag for 1,000 dollars.
Self-deception is a person's problem so it is difficult to feel happy. So whatever we have, we should be grateful so that it makes it more meaningful and makes us happier.
4. Living optimistically and appreciating effort has more potential to feel happyAccording to Cottone's story as reported by Psychology Today, his other patients earn less than the amount needed to live in a year. He relies on insurance provided by the state. However, Omar is optimistic and appreciates his efforts.
This means that happiness is not a guarantee of material things, but how we try and appreciate hard work that turns out to affect self-esteem and happiness.
5. Regardless of the achievements of others, self-growth needs to be built to achieve goalsMaterial things may be a goal, but what is more essential is self-growth rather than how big the balance in the account. Cottone advises, everyone needs to define goals, especially those related to emotional calm. So if the goal is to be happy, what makes happiness complete? Of course it's not just a matter of material, right?
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