When Children Have Enemies, What Should Parents Do?

Illustration (Xavier Morton Photograph/Unsplash)

JAKARTA - Your little one's friendship suddenly turned into hostility. What do you do when your child says that to you? To scold him or advise him at length? Or contact a friend's mother and express your annoyance?

According to Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who summarized the book The Unwritten Rules of Friendship, Friday, December 10, instead of stepping in to resolve the hostility, parents should only be tasked with accompanying them when they have problems and accompanying them in solving problems. finish it.

Some of the following things you can do when your child is hostile to his friend:

Become a Tape Recorder

Listen to the story. Telling stories will make it better. However, for children who have a tendency to be more closed and silent, telling stories becomes difficult. Lure with the question "Si X, how come, it's been a long time since I played here, huh?"

Show Empathy

Try saying: “Hmm…, you must be really annoyed, huh?” By getting your empathy, he will feel calmer and can try to control his emotions.

Be Careful in Giving Comment

Take care that you don't rush into words that are offensive to your child's friends. This can increase the child's hatred for their friend. In addition, this also has the potential to make your child happy because he feels he is the most correct in the incident.

Do Investigation

Be objective by not making it the only source. You can try to find out by observing your child's daily life, asking the teacher or other friends.

Invite Them To Evaluate

Does the hostility occur because there is one attitude that hurts their friend or makes their friend annoyed? If so, teach them to fix it so that the same thing doesn't happen again in other friendships.

Ask Them To Remember Their Friendship

Provoke their memory with the sentence, "Even though you were always together, huh. If you've played together, it's hard to separate. Wouldn't it be a shame if you weren't friends anymore?"

Teach Them How To Apologize

Sorry may be one of the most difficult words to pronounce for children. But try to push it gently.

Teaching To Be Forgiving

If it's not your child who is at fault and the cause of hostility, you need to teach them to forgive their friend's mistakes. Teach them about the pleasure of forgiveness.