Keep Your Words, Psychologists Remind You To Hold Back Commenting On Couples Who Don't Have Children

Illustration of the pair (Unsplash)

Commenting on the marriage of other couples has become a habit that is difficult to stop among the community. This is an important concern for Family Psychologists from the University of Indonesia, Sani B. Hermawan. Comments regarding work, children, and others should be detained.

"Don't comment too much on people who don't have children because we don't really know whether this is like it or not, we can't know that, so please be wise," Sani said as quoted by ANTARA.

He said comments often come from colleagues or the families of couples who see they do not have children. He also suggested that it is better not to comment negatively on couples who do not have children because it will only add to the burden on couples who may be waiting for their children but cannot yet.

Negative comments can affect a partner's psychology and feel more depressed because of the circumstances and words of others.

If you have a strong decision not to have children for financial reasons or mental readiness that has not been achieved, it can be conveyed in a good way and do not need to be afraid to respond to comments.

"We made the decision, if we firm it whatever other people say, we can just say yes, indeed we have not planned, for example, that oh yes, it will still be next year' for example, without having to feel reduced, humiliated or negatively commented," said Sani.

He said that in running a household, a husband and wife have their own authority to determine whether they are ready to have children immediately or postpone it.

The decision could be due to work reasons that are still difficult to leave or feel they have not been able to provide good facilities for children who will be cared for later.

He suggested that if you have the decision, you can use contraceptives that are approved by both parties to achieve what you want according to plan.

"If they really plan not to have children, they usually use a security system that is more secure, whether spirals, or condoms, or iud or they schedule to use dates and so on," said Sani.