JAKARTA Divorce is usually the last step after various attempts to save a stuck marriage. Unfortunately, children are more often victims of parent separations.
This is what Baim, a 13-year-old boy in Samarinda, lived alone in the forest after his parents divorced. He lived alone in a tent in a plantation area owned by residents in the Jalan Wahid Hasyim/Gang Salam area, RT 13, South Sempaja Village, Samarinda District, during one month's drive.
Baim only has a camping tent to protect himself from rain and heat. With the mattress he takes from the trash can, Baim only relies on candles as a source of lighting at night.
Luckily, the Rapid Response Team for the Protection of Women and Children (TRC PPA) moved quickly as soon as it received a report from local residents. The head of the East Kalimantan PPA TRC, Rina Zainun, said Baim's decision to stay in the tent alone because he did not want to bother his parents.
Divorce often contains prolonged conflicts that are dilemmatic not only for parents but also for children, who are at risk of not fulfilling children's rights, according to clinical psychologist and forensic officer Kasandra Putranto.
Although it is not a mistake, the fact is that divorce is still considered something taboo for some Indonesians. The lack of communication between separated parents and their children makes divorce a nightmare, although not all of them are.
On that basis, divorce often leaves a negative influence on children.
"The negative impact of divorce for children is the disruption of psychological developments, the feeling of lack of parental affection, feeling inferior, to being disappointed with parents," Kasandra told VOI.
In addition, Kasandra said children whose parents divorced often withdraw from the environment and even experience depression. In fact, divorce does not always have a negative impact if parents remain committed to working together in raising children.
Although the psychological impact on children is more often highlighted, Kasandra does not deny that divorce can also affect the lives of parents.
Change of identity after divorce is often a burden in itself for divorced people. Moreover, in Indonesia, the status of widowers and widows often gets a negative stigma in society. This status is often perceived as a failure person.
Parents may experience emotional stress, feelings of guilt, identity change, and difficulty managing relationships. However, this impact may vary depending on individual factors and existing support," Kasandra explained.
Despite the various psychological risks faced by children and parents, divorce does not always end scary. Maintaining communication between parents and children and maintaining consistency and routineity are among steps that can minimize the impact if divorce must be an option.
"Every divorce situation is unique, and professional assistance may be needed in several cases," explained Kasandra.
Based on the Indonesian Statistics report, divorce cases in Indonesia continue to increase from year to year. In 2022 alone, divorce cases reached 516,334. This figure is up 15.31 percent compared to the previous year which reached 447,743 cases.
This figure has even become the highest number of divorce cases in Indonesia in the last six years.
However, of concern, the majority of domestic divorce cases in 2022 are lawsuits or cases whose divorce claims were filed by the wife who had been decided by the court.
The number of divorced divorces reached 75.21 percent of last year's total divorce cases or 388,358.
Meanwhile, the divorce case that occurred due to divorce was a case whose divorce application was filed by the husband who had been decided by the court. For divorce cases, the figure is only 127,986 cases or 24.78 percent of the total divorce cases.
The continuous quarrel became one of the three main reasons for the divorce recorded in the religious court. The other two reasons are the economy and one side left behind.
Similar notes also occurred in the United States, where nearly 70 percent of divorces were initiated by women. Research studies by the American Socological Association (ASA) in 2015 showed two-thirds of divorce initiated by women. Even among college-edged women the number jumped by 90 percent.
Citing The Whiteley Law Firm, communication is actually the key in marriage. But unfortunately, it is not uncommon for many couples to experience difficulty communicating.
The patriarchal culture that is still quite thick in Indonesia has an impact on the difficulty of men communicating and processing emotions. As a result, women in marriage find that they will often take emotional responsibility.
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"Over time, it has an impact on a person, mentally, physically, and of course emotionally. Without emotional support from her husband, the wife will feel alone without a source of support in the marriage," the Whiteley Law Firm notes.
Meanwhile, the National Population and Family Planning Agency (BKKBN) seeks to reduce divorce rates in Indonesia, including by expanding the insight of developing quality families, given the impacts caused by divorce.
"Children really need attention. Families must be the foundation, let's go back to the family and create the best family possible," said Head of BKKBN Hasto Wardoyo.
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