Stay Waras Amid Spicy Comments, Here's How Elegan Faces People Who Like Criticism

JAKARTA - In everyday life, scathing comments often come without an invitation. Of parents who always have high standards, colleagues who like to comment on small details, to friends who like to slip criticism in jokes, all can make you feel tired emotionally. It feels like anything you do is never good enough.

However, the good news is, you don't have to be an easy target constantly. By understanding the motives behind over-criticism and learning how to respond, you can protect your mental health while remaining elegant.

Criticism is actually a natural part of social interaction. Research says that criticism is a form of negative feedback that is not always fun, but common in everyday relationships. Too many criticisms, especially those in a judging tone, can affect mental health and contribute to the emergence or recurrence of disorders such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, criticism can also be positive: when the way of delivering it is right and the goal is clear to help, criticism is able to encourage self-improvement and increase self-confidence in completing tasks. The key lies in your tone, intention, and way of acceptance.

Then, why is there people who feel like they are always critical? Mental health expert Danielle Wade, LCSW, quoted from Psych Central, Wednesday, November 19, explains that this behavior is often more related to their internal conditions, not to yourself. People who are too critical may have low self-esteem, feel insecure, or instead store a sense of superiority that makes them feel 'more knowing'. Some of them also grow up in a critical environment, so they unknowingly repeat the pattern to others. There are also those who are actually anxious, then manage their anxiety by controlling and correcting those around them, for example, tense parents who teach their children to drive and make negative comments without stopping.

When dealing with scathing comments, the first step you can take is to consider the source. Ask yourself: Who criticizes? Is he a person who really understands the context of the situation and has good intentions, or just likes to comment on anything? By considering the credibility and motives behind criticism, you can decide which inputs are worth listening to and which ones are enough to respond to as background noise. Not everyone has the right to determine how you look at yourself.

The next step is to train not to take personal criticism. Often, comments directed at you are actually a reflection of the criticism of the critics' discomfort or fear of themselves. For example, someone who is not confident in his body shape is diligent in commenting on other people's bodies. Realizing that these criticisms tell more about them, not about your self-worth, can help you keep your emotional distance. Instead of immediately feeling bad, you can say in your heart, It's about them, not my parents.

Managing responses is equally important. It's natural that criticism makes you angry, embarrassed, or offended. However, defensive spontaneous reactions often trigger quarrels. Try to give a break: take a deep breath, divert yourself for a moment, or stop the conversation politely before responding. This short break gives you space to process emotions and think clearly, so that the response that comes out is more measurable, not just an outburst of heartache for a moment.

To deal with people who seem to intentionally provoke reactions, you can try gray rock'' technique or become borsome rocks''. In principle, you respond to criticism with short, flat, and no dramatic answers, so they don't get mate'' to keep attacking. Sentences like 'good, I'll consider', I understand my opinion, or That's one point of view suffices to show that you hear without having to agree. This strategy helps keep your emotional energy and reduces the chances of a protracted conflict.

However, being firm does not mean you have to freeze empathy. Sometimes, trying to see the world from the point of view of a critical person can help you understand the root of the attitude. A person who continues to comment may carry old wounds, fears, or ways of survival that have been inherent since childhood. Admitting that 'people who hurt are often injured' can grow a little mercy and make your heart lighter. However, empathy still needs to be balanced with clear boundaries.

In the end, dealing with people who are too critical is the art of balancing three things: choosing which criticism is useful, protecting yourself from injury comments, and maintaining relationships as long as you are still healthy to maintain. If you have tried various strategies but the situation remains unchanged, there is nothing wrong with considering withdrawing or reducing interaction. In some cases, consulting a mental health professional can also help you learn to set healthy boundaries and strengthen self-confidence. Remember, you have the right to a relationship that makes you develop, not one that constantly erodes self-esteem.