Understanding Trauma Of Congestion, Trauma Of Emotions Due To Relationships That Are Too Close And Unhealthy

JAKARTA - Often, love and attention in the family are considered a feat' of love that must be watered every day. However, when that bond turns into emotional control and the boundaries of identity melt, you can get caught up in a condition called trauma entanglement, where close becomes too close, and love becomes a burden.

In such an atmosphere, individuals can lose their voices, boundaries, and identity. This article invites you to explore what trauma entanglement is, what are the signs, and concrete steps to cure relationships with yourself and others," said information from Very Well Mind, Tuesday, September 30.

Trauma entanglement arises when a family lacks clear boundaries between its members, so emotional roles and responsibilities are often mixed.

The term termination' itself comes from the concept of structural family therapy from Salvador Minuchin. Which illustrates the situation in which family members find it difficult to distinguish themselves from the dynamics of the family as a whole.

In a situation like this, a person can get too close to losing his emotional space and personal autonomy.

Here are some indications that your family or personal relationship can experience a pattern of entanglement:

If you feel one or more of the patterns above in your relationship, there is most likely an element of entanglement that needs to be considered.

Trauma entanglement does not stop being a problem in childhood, the implications can last until adulthood:

1. Fear of conflict

Because during growing up conflicts are considered 'dangerous,' people who experience enmeshment often avoid differences of opinion.

2. Relationship difficulties

There are two extremes that may arise: You hope your partner or friend bears your emotional burden, or you 'play' the role of caregiver because you are used to making sacrifices.

3. Low self-esteem

Because during the growth and development period you seek validation from your parents, you find it difficult to trust yourself.

4. Loss of identity

You may choose a career, partner, or lifestyle based on family expectations. Not from your own wishes, so you don't know who you really are.

All right, you've recognized the pattern and impact, then how to free yourself from this trauma?

1. Forms of boundaries (boundaries)

Trauma enmeshment often develops because there is no healthy emotional limit. You can start by identifying moments when you are annoyed by someone, then dare to say 'sufficient' or pass by not answering the phone at any time or asking for your own space.

2. Find yourself back

Don't be afraid to 'date yourself.' Choose the activities you used to like or new things you're curious about, even though your family may disagree. It helps you distinguish who you are beyond other people's expectations.

3. Don't hesitate to ask for professional assistance

Dealing with family dynamics that are closely attached and trauma patterns require guidance. The therapist can help you see patterns, build boundaries, and understand your own emotions without feeling guilty.

4. Care about the process

Changes don't happen overnight. Old habits, fear, and the tendency to please others can reappear. But that's natural, the key is to give yourself time and understanding.

Trauma entanglement may sound paradoxical, a relationship that is too close actually makes your space shrink. But in reality, recovery is always possible.

With healthy boundaries, efforts to find who we are, as well as professional support, we can free ourselves from patterns that restrain and move on to healthier relationships and lives.

If you feel the resonance with the above patterns, remember that the first step is recognition, and from there, you have the right to choose (or create) boundaries, sounds, and freedom yourself.