Emotionally Smart Parents DO This To Their Children
YOGYAKARTA Taking care of and accompanying children in the growth process is an extraordinary experience. Not infrequently, this experience is frustrating. However, as parents, it is necessary to take over completely this responsibility.
With regard to learning to regulate and manage emotions in children, it turns out that parents' emotional intelligence plays a major role. According to psychotherapist and writer Erin Leonard, Ph.D., this is what parents do with emotional intelligence to their children.
Instead of being angry at being disturbed when the child slammed the door, it's better to open a discussion that motivates child responsibility and openness. Children slamming the door, definitely not without reason. To dig the trigger, parents with emotional intelligence do not correct their children's behavior based on their feelings but the truth of behavior, empathy, and respect.
Launching Psychology Today, Leonard gave an example of the case of Ben and his mother. Ben came home from school throwing the e-story task and slamming the door. From the kitchen, his mother approached and said, "Ben, I know you don't have a reason why you throw the bag and slammed the door." I told Ben to take the bag and put it in his position, then approached Ben. With open chat, there was no intention of blaming and correcting, Ben melted. He finally told the trigger he was angry. For example, the mother respects Ben's emotions and enforces the rules. His emotions are not bad, but his behavior may be bad.
Mothers or fathers who understand and listen will be closer to their children than to lecture. This is important because parents do not force their agenda on their children and open discussions that focus on their children. In this way, children have room to express their opinions. They also tend to talk about a problem.
Reflection or self-introspection can help bring the relationship between children and parents instead of blaming their children or blaming themselves. With introspection, parents can be better. This is a positive response or positive feedback from children's openness. By also introspection, parents gain self-awareness and become a good example for their children.
According to Leonard, empathy is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Empathy, including respecting children's feelings while upholding hopes and boundaries, may be an effective way to stay close to children. That's the attitude of parents who are emotionally intelligent when responding to their children's behavior.