The Decision To Marry Is Everyone's Personal Authorization

Photo illustration (StockSnap / Pixabay)

We have challenged the number 19 as the minimum age of marriage set by the state in the article "Various Reasons for Rejecting 19 as the Minimum Age of Marriage". Still part of VOI's signature Series, "Marriage Today", we are now looking for answers to deal with the urges of marriage from our neighborhood.

Three days before Christmas. Nine days before the new year. Anyone planning to spend those two big days with their extended family? What have you done with the classic "when to get married?" asked you? Through this article, we provide various answers that you can use to answer that question.

Previously, there is a tip that needs to be implanted in your head, which is to understand that it is very important to answer those questions with a cool head. To keep your head cool, it is important that you see the question as a form of their attention to you. There's nothing wrong with taking the positives, right?

Some time ago we found an interesting article on the LinkedIn page. In that article, LinkedIn gives advice, the best way to answer that question is to describe how you are currently focusing on improving yourself. Also emphasize that self-improvement is an important asset to find a mate who has the same good qualities as you.

"The best way to overcome this is to smile and use this opportunity to emphasize how you can spend more time on self-improvement. Use these tips with your own version," wrote LinkedIn, quoted from era.id, Sunday, December 22 .

"Remember, that everyone is at a different stage in their career, so don't compare yourself with other people ... Maybe this is the year when your family and relatives start to better understand your passion, your career choices, and your ideas for success. . "

The importance of authorization

We contacted University of Indonesia psychologist Rose Mini to explore this issue. According to Rose Mini, it is very important for everyone to identify all readiness in themselves. About career, mental readiness, to personal desires, for example. The results of the identification then must be used as a basis for considering the marriage decision. Not environmental pressure.

"If he is too young, where his development tasks are still looking for self-identity, what I want to be like, how do I want to have a career, still busy again, adding more roles later after marriage makes him dizzy. Until he feels I can't adapt," said Rose. Mini, contacted by VOI, some time ago.

Completing. Public policy observer, Trubus Rahadiansyah, highlighted the prevailing cultural point of view of marriage in Indonesia. According to Trubus, a person's personal authorization to determine married life is very restrictive in Indonesia. In other words, it is very difficult for a person to be independent for his own married life. In fact, no one knows more about a person's readiness to go to marriage than the person himself.

Like the Rose Mini view. Trubus sees that there are still many people who fail to identify their readiness to step into marriage. Trubus clearly sees this kind of cultural condition contributing to the high divorce rate. One's failure to identify career and economic maturity, for example.

Like it or not, the facts show that most marriage failures occur due to economic factors. This does not mean that only wealthy people can marry. However, planning a wedding through preparations must clearly be done as a form of responsibility to yourself and the marriage that will be lived.

"There was a survey, I was involved in research, but 3-4 years ago. (The result) The average economic factor (causes of divorce). (Economy) is above 60-70 percent," said Trubus when contacted by VOI, Friday, 20 December.

Theoretical, indeed. Implementation in real life must be very difficult. That is why this wish requires the government's contribution. Not meddling in the private sphere of couples. However, the state must build an interconnected system in the form of providing employment opportunities and various community welfare programs to build established brides-to-be, economically at least.

"Because divorce is mostly economic factors. So, economic empowerment is given. Second, it is for example in the form of employment opportunities. So, most of the lower class people divorce because their husbands are unemployed or their income is insufficient. So that it is more towards welfare. , "said Trubus.