JAKARTA - Paul Merson tells about his struggle against gambling addiction. He admits he has lost everything.
The former Arsenal star, who also has problems with drugs and alcohol, said those problems took him to a very dark place.
"Looking back, it's not the lost money that you regret. I had become a millionaire and wanted to kill myself," Merson told the BBC.
"This is about lost time. I have eight children who I love very much.
"I was addicted to alcohol and cocaine, but by far the most destructive and the one I still struggle with today is gambling."
Speaking ahead of the BBC's premiere of the documentary Paul Merson: Football, Gambling and Me, Merson said his addiction to gambling has cost him more than £7 million.
Merson has lost his house, car, marriage, and retirement.
"If I want to get drunk, I just put something up my nose. But, gambling is already in you, just keep waiting, talking to you," explains Merson.
"The scary thing is you know there's only one outcome, but you can't stop."
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