JAKARTA – Stubbornness is a trait in which a person refuses to change his mind and is not open to suggestions or criticism. When in a relationship and one of the partners has this trait, it may trigger 'tension'. But don't worry, some wise ways can be done if your partner has this trait.

Quoting from Psych Mechanics, Thursday, October 14, someone who is stubborn may be because they know that with these traits they can get what they want. This means that it is not wrong to have this trait. So as a couple, how do you handle it? Here's advice from Jenni Jacobsen, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

1. Stay calm

Like the poles of a magnet, if they are brought close they will move away from each other. Reported by the Marriage page, Jacobsen advises to remain calm. Use calming strategies, such as counting to ten or taking deep breaths when dealing with a stubborn partner.

2. Choose the right time to express yourself

If you're planning to talk about something important with a stubborn partner, pick the right time. Avoid when your partner is tired after work, when you are hungry, or when you have a lot on your mind. The best time is when your partner is relaxed and in a relatively good mood.

3. Express your love

Never hold back on love, says Jacobsen. If you can love a stubborn partner, they may be more inclined to compromise with you.

4. Give compliments

Someone who is stubborn in a relationship tends to believe that the way things are done is best. So, praise your partner's ego before making suggestions. That way your partner will be more open and able to work with you.

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Illustration of facing a stubborn couple (Pexels/August de Richeliu)
5. Empathize with your partner

A stubborn partner can get frustrated because he or she may feel like no one understands her perspective. Instead of contradicting yourself, try to take the time to listen to your partner and understand their point of view.

6. Be open to compromise

A relationship will be harmonious if both are open and can negotiate to compromise. Tips from Jacobsen, the best way to talk to a stubborn person is that you have to be willing to compromise.

A stubborn partner may be quite determined and believe that their way is for the best. That is, it is necessary to find a middle ground and compromise.

7. Be a good listener

Before making comments and suggestions, give your partner a chance to talk and defend his position. After being given the opportunity, your partner will give the same thing, for example, give space and listen to your arguments.

8. Avoid blaming your partner

Generally, stubborn people don't like to hear that they are wrong. So instead of blaming your partner, it's better to say "I appreciate your perspective on this, and you must have made some good points."

9. Never give up

Giving up is easy, especially when avoiding conflict. But Jacobsen advises never to give up when your partner is stubborn. This trait cannot be changed, the wisest way is to remain open to compromise and both agree to find a middle ground.

10. Exchanging arguments in a healthy way

Stubborn people are often trapped in the truth from his perspective. But exchanging arguments in a healthy manner needs to be done so that communication can be harmonious and two-way. Even though it's tough, you will be more open if you follow the argument with a cool head.

Does your partner have a stubborn nature? Try the suggestions above to keep your relationship harmonious and healthy.


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