JAKARTA - As a parent, you may feel that you have done the right thing for your child. But sometimes you are not sensitive, whether it can be accepted by the child well or even make him depressed.
You may not be aware all this time, but there are some habits that might hurt your child's heart and make him psychologically disturbed. The impact is also great and can shape his personality into adulthood. What are the habits like?
Hope everything is perfect
It may be said that it is natural for parents to want their children to be able to do this and that, to become a great, smart, accomplished, and proud child. But you also have to remember that your child is just an ordinary person who can't be perfect.
He definitely has strengths and weaknesses. So forcing children to be perfect is not right. He can be depressed, stressed, or even always obsessed to the point of not being able to accept failure.
Blaming the child constantly
Children will often make mistakes, but that doesn't mean you have to blame them all the time. For example, the child's grades are not satisfactory when distributing report cards.
You will blame why the score is bad, why you don't study properly, why you keep playing, and the like. In fact, you may not know that he's tried but just hasn't been able to understand the lesson.
When they feel that they are constantly being blamed, children may even be insecure, don't want to talk about serious things with their parents, hide many things for fear of being scolded, become angry, and in the end, the relationship between children and parents becomes colder until adulthood.
Likes to compare with other children
No one likes to be compared to other people. Maybe you often make sentences like, "Wow, your friend is already good at riding his bicycle" or "He just won't be able to win the class, how come your grades are all bad?"
Seems trivial huh? Whether it's just talking nonsense or aiming to make fun of children, parents should stop doing this. Children can be depressed and always feel less good in the eyes of their parents.
Let other people's children be smarter or stronger, you should focus on your own children. Instead of being busy admiring other people's children, you can work with children to explore their potential and talents.
Don't want to understand the child's feelings
Many parents are busy demanding their children to be able to do this, to be able to do that. Even though you don't know that your child may not like what is forced.
Because they want their children to be multitalented, from a young age they are forced to take music lessons, sports classes, math lessons, language lessons, and various additional courses every day. Is this all in accordance with the wishes of the child?
Being too forced to obey the wishes of parents makes it difficult for children to make their own life choices or even become rebels. In teenagers, he is also likely to fall into illicit things such as drugs or alcohol.
Do not appreciate
Without realizing it, mothers often scold their children, nag, blame, corner, and belittle their children. So when do you take the time to appreciate your child? Right now, he might not be the child he expected.
But remember, reward the little things he does. For example, when she helps clean up toys, is diligent in school, wants to help her mother at home, eats until she runs out, and so on. It's okay to be angry and disappointed, but convey it well and easily accepted by the child as input. Don't forget to say thank you and apologize if it feels too harsh.
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