5 Signs You Are Too Permissive Which Affects Mental Health

Illustration of too permissive attitude signs that have an impact on mental health (Freepik/Kamran Aydinov)

YOGYAKARTA - Being understanding and giving space to others is a positive thing in relationships. However, if you continue to let behavior that is actually disturbing, it is difficult to convey objections, or always give in in order to keep the atmosphere comfortable, you may be showing too permissive behavior. In psychology, this habit can have an impact on mental health because it makes a person lose their boundaries and continue to prioritize the needs of others.

Matthew Legge, author of Are We Done Fighting? Building Understanding in a World of Hate and Division as well as Peace Program Coordinator at the Canadian Friends Service Committee, explained that healthy boundaries are not meant to excessively limit others. According to him, as reported by Psychology Today, Friday, July 10, setting and talking about boundaries in the right way can actually strengthen relationships. He emphasized that letting someone act in a harmful way is not a form of kindness, because such behavior can damage relationships and hinder self-development. The following, recognize the signs of permissive attitudes.

1. It's hard to say "no" even if you feel objections

One sign of too permissive behavior is the difficulty of refusing other people's requests. You may still help even if you are exhausted or receive something that is actually not in line with your wishes. This habit often arises because of fear of disappointing others or worrying about being considered not caring.

In fact, saying "no" to certain situations does not mean you are a selfish person. In fact, the ability to set limits helps maintain energy, time, and emotional health. That way, the help given to others also comes from a sincere choice, not because of pressure.

Illustration of too permissive attitude signs that have an impact on mental health (Freepik/pressfoto)2. Always avoid conflicts

Many people consider conflict as something to be avoided completely. However, Matthew Legge explains that healthy disagreements and conflicts require boundaries so that conversations can continue well. Without clear boundaries, one can let unhealthy behavior continue just because they want to keep the peace for a moment.

If you always choose to be silent when you feel uncomfortable, the problem may not really be over. Feelings of disappointment, anger, or fatigue can accumulate and slowly affect your emotional state. A healthy relationship does not mean never having differences, but being able to talk about differences with mutual respect.

3. Letting others cross your comfort zone

People who are too permissive often have trouble determining the line between understanding and allowing harmful behavior. For example, you continue to accept hurtful words, unfair treatment, or requests that are too burdensome. Because you want to be a good person, you may choose to survive even though you actually feel uncomfortable.

According to Legge, boundaries are not a barrier in relationships. Boundaries can actually create a safer space because everyone understands what behavior is acceptable and what needs to be improved.

4. Feeling responsible for the behavior and feelings of others

An overly permissive attitude can also be seen when you feel you always have to take care of other people's emotions. You may feel guilty when someone is disappointed, angry, or dislikes the decisions you make. As a result, you continue to adapt until you ignore your personal needs.

In fact, everyone still has responsibility for their own choices and emotions. Supporting others does not mean taking over all their burdens. Understanding the limits of this responsibility can help maintain mental health and reduce emotional stress.

5. Losing space to understand one's own needs

When you follow other people's wishes too often, it can be increasingly difficult to recognize what you really need. Time to rest, do activities you like, or pursue personal goals is often sacrificed to keep the relationship going. In the long run, this can make a person feel tired and lose control over their own life.

Being a caring person does not mean having to be available for everyone. Healthy kindness still requires a balance between caring for others and valuing yourself.

Too permissive attitudes usually develop from various experiences, such as fear of rejection, the habit of avoiding arguments, or a strong desire to keep relationships harmonious. However, healthy relationships are not built from one party who always gives in. Relationships actually become stronger when everyone is able to clearly convey their needs and limitations.

In the end, understanding the signs of being too permissive is important for maintaining mental health and relationship quality. Learning to set boundaries does not mean being harsh or indifferent, but rather a way to create healthier and mutually respectful relationships. When you are able to respect your own needs while understanding others, relationships can develop more balanced.