Not Just Being Present, Here's How to Give Support to Bereaved People

Illustration giving support to the bereaved. (Freepik)

JAKARTA - Losing a loved one, especially if it happens suddenly, often leaves a deep grief and shakes a person's emotional state.

In times like this, the presence and support of the surrounding environment, whether family, friends, or colleagues, play an important role in helping grieving individuals get through this difficult time.

Clinical psychologist from the University of Indonesia, Ratriana Naila Syafira, M.Psi., Psychologist, explained that support given to people who are grieving needs to be done in the right way and with empathy.

"When someone is left behind suddenly by their closest person, support from the environment is very important. The most important support is to be present in the right way," said Ratriana as quoted by ANTARA.

According to Ratriana, sensitivity to the emotional state of the grieving person is fundamental. Friends and family need to understand when to approach and when to give space. If the grieving individual chooses to be alone, the decision should be respected, while still monitoring their condition periodically.

He emphasized that the form of attention does not always have to be intense or demanding a response. Simply by conveying that support is always available can help bereaved people feel not alone.

In addition, when they want to share stories, the attitude of listening without judging is a form of support that is very meaningful. Ratriana also reminds us of the importance of validating the emotions that arise, without launching sentences that seem to trivialize or rush to give meaning to the sad event.

"Validating emotions needs to be done by avoiding expressions such as "there is meaning behind everything", "it's time", or "God won't give us trials beyond our ability", because grief can come in many forms, from sadness, anger, confusion, numbness, to mixed feelings.

The psychologist who is now practicing at the Rali Ra Psychology Office, Bekasi, assessed that validating emotions will help bereaved people feel understood and not depressed to recover immediately.

Another form of support that can be provided is to offer concrete and practical assistance. According to Ratriana, in a state of grief, a person often has difficulty taking care of basic daily needs. Therefore, offers of assistance such as preparing food, helping to clean the house, accompanying administrative procedures, or simply sitting down can have a significant impact.

"Finally, respect their grieving process. There is no same timeline for everyone. Some people seem to recover quickly, some take a long time. Our job is not to speed up the process, but to accompany them through it with empathy and patience," said Ratriana.

On the same occasion, Ratriana also assessed that flower arrangements can be one form of presence when someone cannot come directly to convey condolences.

"But maybe it's more of a form of acquaintances, not family or close relatives. Maybe as a gesture and symbol of empathy," he added.

However, he emphasized that psychologically, flower arrangements cannot replace emotional support directly, especially for the closest people. Presence, or at least a sincere personal message, is considered much more needed in helping someone get through a time of grief.