What's the Difference Between Gaslighting and Playing Victim? Find Out the Answer Here

Illustration - playing victim behavior with a partner (photo: Freepik)

YOGYAKARTA - Gaslighting and playing victim are manipulative behaviors that can harm a person's mental health. So, what is the difference between gaslighting and playing victim?

Simply put, gaslighting can be interpreted as an act of emotional manipulation that makes the victim feel inferior, experience anxiety, depression, and even mental collapse.

Playing victim is a technique of pretending to be a victim to get sympathy or avoid responsibility.

Both gaslighting and playing victim are forms of destructive manipulation and can occur simultaneously, but their main goals are different.

Knowing the difference between gaslighting and playing the victim will help you avoid this manipulative behavior.

What's the Difference Between Gaslighting and Playing Victime

Compiled from various sources, the difference between gaslighting and playing the victim can be known through the following things:

Purpose

Gaslighting behavior is carried out so that others take responsibility for the problems that are happening. In fact, it is not them who caused the problem.

As a result, the victim of gaslighting will doubt themselves, because they doubt their memory, and their ability to distinguish between facts.

While playing the victim, this manipulative behavior is done to get sympathy from others.

Referring to the book Family Constellation by Meilinda Sutanto, playing the victim is often used as a method to seek attention, as well as control the thoughts and feelings of others, in order to get mercy.

Focus Manipulation

Gaslighting behavior focuses on destroying the victim's mental self-confidence. The manipulator targets the way the victim interprets reality, so that the victim feels that his own thoughts cannot be trusted.

This is different from playing victim which focuses on managing other people's emotions. The perpetrator manipulates pity, pity, and empathy so that the other party feels guilty and feels obliged to understand his behavior.

The Way Used

Gaslighting is carried out through denial of facts, changing the narrative of events, blurring the truth, to belittle the victim's feelings. The perpetrator often behaves as if the victim is exaggerating or misunderstanding.

Meanwhile, playing the victim is done with repeated complaints, one-sided stories, dramatization of suffering, and blaming the environment or others. The perpetrator rarely admits his mistakes and tends to look for justification.

Impact on the Victim

Gaslighting victims often feel confused and lose trust in their personal judgment. In extreme conditions, victims can feel helpless and afraid to make decisions on their own.

In the playing victim, the victim tends to feel guilty constantly, bear emotional responsibilities that do not belong to him, and have difficulty setting boundaries for fear of being considered uncaring.

Position of the perpetrator

The gaslighting perpetrator places himself as the party who is always right, rational, and dominant. He creates a psychological power hierarchy in which the victim is always in a lower position.

Meanwhile, the victim playing perpetrator places himself as a weak and hurt figure, even though he is often the trigger for conflicts. This position is used as a shield to avoid criticism.

Long Term Effects

In the long run, gaslighting can cause anxiety disorders, depression, emotional trauma, as well as damage to self-identity and trust in others.

Meanwhile, playing victim behavior creates an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship pattern, and is filled with false pity. Victims are at risk of emotional exhaustion and losing space for their own needs.

That's the explanation of what the difference between gaslighting and playing the victim. Hopefully it can add to the reader's insight. to get updates on other featured news, read VOI.id.