The Right Way To Answer Children's Wishes Without Saying They Don't Have Money

Illustration of parents and children (Freepik/tonodiaz)

JAKARTA - Almost all parents have experienced this moment. Children ask for something like new toys, gadgets, holidays, or other things that are clearly not cheap. Without thinking long, one ultimate sentence came out, namely "I don't have money".

This sentence sounds trivial, but secretly the impact is big. It's not a matter of lying or not, but how children form a perspective on money from an early age. Therefore, there is an assumption that parents are forbidden to say "no money" to their children.

Brad T. Klontz, financial psychologist, professor, and CNBC member Digital Financial Advisor Council advises removing this sentence from conversations with children.

Here are 3 reasons why you should never say, 'We don't have money' and say a replacement sentence, as reported by the CNBC Make It page.

1. Most Likely Not Completely True

Children can feel if their parents lie. If they are really forced, there is actually almost always a way to make money. For example, by applying for a loan with a house guarantee, selling houses or valuables, swiping credit cards until they knock, and looking for additional work and work at night, weekends, or holidays.

Unless the child asks for a private jet, of course you can't do it. Usually there's always a way to make it happen. So the phrase "we can't afford it" is often not entirely appropriate.

2. Planting a Money Shortage of Mindset

Imagine a child who is never allowed to eat candy at all. What do you think happens on his 18th birthday? It is very likely that they will take revenge for eating sweet food excessively.

If children grow up by often hearing "we can't afford", they can absorb the belief that money is always lacking. As an adult, when offered credit cards, student loans, or easy installments, his emotional response can change.

They thought "Finally now I can have everything I didn't get," it could lead to overspending, misuse of credit, and long-term financial stress.

Explaining the reason why you don't buy something is different from instilling a sense of weakness. You can actually teach money to be used based on priority.

3. Miss Financial Learning Opportunities

When a child asks for something expensive, it's a good moment to explain:

- Why is certain expenses not included in the budget?

- What is being saved by the family?

- Why is the long-term goal prioritized more than a temporary desire?

- How spending too much on cars, holidays, or homes can make many people stuck in financial problems?

- Why delaying fun is important?

If the child asks for something that is clearly unrealistic, don't break it immediately. Make it a story material. Tell me about entrepreneurs and investors who build wealth until they can realize big dreams like that and how children can also have big goals in life.

So, what should you say? Research shows that children who are good at managing money will usually grow up at home talking about finances openly.

Instead of cutting talks with "we can't afford it", try saying, "We could actually do that, but right now we are choosing to use our money for other things. Here's the reason."

Then explain, maybe you're paying off your debt, saving to buy a house, investing in retirement, and choosing to work less so you can spend more time with your family.

Share family financial values. Tell me what is most important for you. Explain that saving, investing, and spending money wisely help your family live the life you want and achieve goals.

Conversations like this will help children build healthy relationships with money, not relationships based on shame or feelings of always shortcomings.