5 Reasons Why You Don't Need To Be Defensive In Showing Yourself Quality

Illustration of the reasons why there is no need to be defensive in showing self-quality (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA - When you face criticism, either at work, in relationships, or in social environments, there is often a urge to be defensive. However, being defensive is not the most effective way to show who you really are. From a psychological point of view, defensive reactations can actually damage relationships and obscure the quality of yourself that you want to convey. As a reflection, this is the reason why you don't need to be defensive and how to respond to other people's opinions in a healthier way.

Being defensive is able to create a tense atmosphere in the conversation. You may divert criticism or counterattack, making the interlocutor also defensive. As a result, dialogue that should be productive can turn into endless conflict.

When you take a defensive or denying position, other people may not know what you really feel. This closes the opportunity for you to show an open and honest side as a developing human being. Thus, the quality of honesty, humility, and willingness to learn are invisible.

When criticism is delivered with good intentions, it is useful as a boost to grow. However, if you respond to criticism defensively, the element of learning in criticism is lost. Instead of showing your greatness, you actually appear afraid to be criticized if you are defensive.

A defensive response triggers negative emotions, including shame, anger, or anxiety. If this response occurs in the long term, the impact can burden your psychology. So the reason why there is no need to be defensive when accepting other people's opinions, because it does not make yourself more empowered, it is that emotional energy is drained.

By keeping your distance from criticism or corrections, you stop the opportunity for introspection. Growth occurs when you recognize weaknesses and learn to fix them. Without it, self-quality does not grow optimally.

After knowing the reason why there is no need to be defensive in showing your quality, you need to improve your attitude wisely. Quoting VerywellMind, Monday, October 6, how to show self-quality can start by realizing when you feel defensive. If you can realize initial signals such as when your heart rate goes up followed by your self-defense mind appearing, you can choose not to react defensively immediately.

After that, in the heart of validation of your feelings. By validating what you felt at that time, it helps you stay calm and think clearly. Focus your mind on the value you hold and the solution. In finding a solution, not losing-win in arguing, but a middle way that fits the common value.

In showing self-quality without being defensive, it is important to communicate clearly. If the opinion you receive is conveyed disrespectfully, convey about your feelings and ask that in the future the method of delivery can be improved. It is important that you understand, that reducing defensive attitude opens space for healthier communication, stronger relationships, and sustainable personal growth.