3 Secrets to a Long-Lasting and Happy Marriage According to a Divorce Lawyer

Illustration of a happy marriage. (Freepik)

JAKARTA - Before getting married, there are several important questions you should ask your partner. For example, about finances, what their credit score is, whether they have ever gone bankrupt, and how they view money.

"Financial issues are still one of the three main reasons people divorce," said Padideh Jafari, a divorce and family law attorney, as quoted by CNBC Make It.

It's also a good idea to ask about religion.

"Is religion important to you? Make sure your partner respects that part of your life," she added.

But after marriage, the work doesn't stop there. There are several things you can do to keep your marriage strong and avoid common causes of divorce.

Here are three tips for maintaining a long-lasting marriage from Jafari and Parima Pandkhou, divorce attorneys from Wasser, Cooperman & Mandles.

1. Communication is Key

Communication isn't just about the big things, but also the small, everyday things, like today's plans or funny stories from the office. Research shows that happy couples tend to frequently share their latest interests and the little things on their minds.

However, it's also important to have the courage to discuss more serious matters, such as your partner's uncomfortable habits.

"You have to talk about these things. If you just sweep the problem under the rug, it will only get bigger," explained Pandkhou.

When communicating, try to be patient, clear, and give your partner the opportunity to speak.

"Communication isn't just about talking, but also about listening before responding," said Jafari.

"Really try to understand what your partner means," he continued.

2. Make Time for Regular Dates

According to Jafari, regular dates can maintain emotional closeness between couples.

"I believe in going on a date once a week. It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner or a movie. It can be a simple picnic," said Jafari.

Dating provides an opportunity for quality time together, away from the daily grind.

"Our world is already very busy, especially after having children. So it's important, even if it's just two hours a week, to check in with each other and reconnect," added Jafari.

3. Talk About Finances Regularly

Just as before marriage, financial discussions remain important after marriage. Jafari recommends couples discuss the household budget frequently.

These can be simple questions, such as, "Do we need to save more? Is it okay to splurge a little? Can we plan a vacation with the kids?"

Small money issues can escalate into major conflicts if left unaddressed. For example, a partner's stressful spending habits can cause resentment and ultimately damage the relationship.

"If you talk to couples who have been married for a long time and are happily married, they'll usually say, 'She's my best friend, the first person I want to tell, good news or bad news,'" Jafari said.