As Ingredients For Parents, These Are 10 Causes Of Stubborn And Difficult Children Regulated

Illustration of the causes of stubborn and difficult children as contemplation for their parents (Freepik)

YOGYAKARTA Parents may often wonder why children are stubborn and difficult to regulate. In fact, they are fussy, angry, for no apparent reason. Even though maybe they are actually trying to communicate that they need something. Here are the common causes behind the child's recalcitrant attitude and the way parents respond appropriately.

Children can vent tantrums, grumble, or hurt you when they feel neglected. Even negative attention is better than not being noticed at all. Wise solution in responding to it, completely ignore it when its behavior is still within safe limits and praise it when there is good behavior.

Children grow up imitating. If you look at adults or friends with bad behavior, they may think it's natural. As parents, it is important to limit exposure to negative behavior, both in the media and in real life. More importantly, parents need to be role models to take good action.

The normal part of growing and developing, children need to know what is permissible and not allowed. Quoting Parents, Tuesday, July 8, it is important to establish rules consistently. If they violate the limits, convey the logical consequences they must do.

Skills related to behavior, such as being less skilled in discussing needs, solving problems, or expressing desire. For that, parents need to teach positive things. For example, such as asking to play with the theme of age or socializing procedures.

From children to teenagers, children want to feel they have control over themselves. This is a normal phase. Therefore, give choices according to their age. For example, if you want to drink milk or juice, you want toys or books, and others. By practicing from an early age to choose to show your independence, it helps them to stay in the right direction.

Children do not have good emotional vocabulary. They are still limited in expressing anger, sadness, boredom. So if children are stubborn or explosive because they are angry and aggressive, it could be because of this. So parents need to teach words to express their feelings appropriately. For example, 'I am angry', 'I am sad'. Also teach these strategies to control emotions in a simple way that they can follow easily. Like by taking a breath, counting, or writing feelings in a daily journal.

Children who are hungry, tired, or not feeling well are difficult to express this. So raging is easier. As a form of reflection, it is important for parents to periodically check their children's basic needs. Starting from eating, sleeping, drinking, healthy snacks, to paying attention to their health.

Behavior such as refusing or arguing can be a way for them to show independence. For reasons of wanting to hold control, children can behave that is considered not to obey the rules or stubborn. To respond to this, give them room to control certain things according to their capacity. Of course within reasonable limits, for example giving the opportunity to choose tasks at home.

If children are used to getting goods or attention through tantrums, they will repeat them. That is, avoid giving compensation for bad behavior. Because rewards in the form of gifts are a positive response when they behave badly.

Some children have emotional difficulties in expressing their thoughts, arguments, and feelings. There are also children who experience mental health problems such as ADHD, anxiety, or depression. This can cause behavior that is difficult to control. If extreme behavior continues, consultation with a child's mental health professional is highly recommended.

When children are stubborn and difficult to regulate, parents must find and find the cause. Because when we understand what underlies children's behavior, we can respond with empathy, not just punishment. In addition, by understanding that all behavior is a form of communication, parents can respond to children in a way that is more respectful, guiding, and loving.