JAKARTA - Friday, April 22, 2021 at 08.00 WIB Vinessa Inez arrived at the shooting location in Jagakarsa, South Jakarta. She came in the morning to wait for her shooting schedule, while arranging make-up in the car, Vinessa looked enthusiastic and excited when VOI's editorial staff greeted her. Happy and optimistic hue radiates from this mother of one child.
There are no more scars left on Vinessa Inez's face. Even though two years ago she shocked the public by suddenly suing for divorce from her husband, Ryan Deye, on January 8, 2019. Their age of marriage was not even 2 years old at that time.
The soap opera player, Jodoh Wasiat Bapak, filed for divorce because of allegations of infidelity and domestic violence (KDRT) committed by her husband at that time. Vinessa is now more focused on her career and children only.
"I'm busy shooting FTV, yesterday finished the series too. As well as being an influencer for the brand campaign," said Viness.
His courage to reveal that his previous domestic violence had changed the course of his life. Many women who experience domestic violence ask for strength from Veniss by sending direct messages to her Instagram.
"With us speaking up, it turns out that so far many DMs have experienced the same thing, even worse things, they don't dare to speak up. Why? Why let yourself be hurt all the time? How long are you willing to let yourself be unhappy?" he said.
Receiving similar messages, Vinessa feels strong because she is not alone. In fact he felt that his life was more meaningful. "Many ask what should be done when they get domestic violence. I said I never told a husband and wife to separate. But please know the positives and negatives of a household relationship," he explained.
All problems will be returned to those who undergo. "If it's still both positive, what is the negative, if the separation is positive, what is the negative. Because that's what I did, I found that after the separation I received many benefits. Because we live happily, we don't want to suffer. Why make ourselves suffer ? " he stressed.
Apart from the toxic household phase, Vinessa finds that it is difficult for someone to change. Expecting a partner to change is difficult.
"If the motivation to change is not from yourself, it's difficult. It can't be 'I want to change for you.' There is no guarantee, because changing yourself is difficult, how can you change other people," he explained.
Domestic violence, he continued, could happen for a variety of different reasons. "Maybe there is something wrong with his wife's essence, there is something that is inherently fundamental, some because of another relationship, cheating on a yearly basis will be angry because his pleasure is disturbed. But it is rarely because of his wife's fault," he explained.
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Initially, of course the domestic violence incident that led to divorce traumatized him. However, the woman who was born in Balikpapan, March 4, 1997 admitted that she did not want to be dragged into a lingering trauma.
"I see that each person has a different personality. If we think we are all the same, we will definitely not move forward," he said.
The feeling of trauma leaves a psychological mark on Vinessa Inez. "If I have a partner, I immediately snap a little parno. I need someone who can make me safe and comfortable for my child and my life," he explained.
Now, Vinessa Inez puts logic more than love when looking for a partner. "Back then he was still naive, thought he was doing this because he was afraid of losing. Even though it wasn't, that's the basis of that person," he said.
Vinessa Inez went viral because she was widowed with Elvaroalano Deye Khan's child at the age of 22. At that time he really felt that he had lost his youth. That's why Vinessa wants to improve herself for her future.
"I still want to enjoy life. I want to have a complete and happy family for my child too. Later, if you have a father, you want a true match from God. The best for me and El, also for my family too. However El needs a father figure. which is really good, "he said.
Elvaroalano Deye Khan, it was his son who became a source of strength for Vinessa. "If El is not there, you will regret getting married, but because there is El, you will not regret it. El is my source of strength now," he explained.
Apart from household problems, Vinessa is grateful because she can take positive lessons to keep going. "I think God loves my life extraordinary, at this age I have children. Now my life goal is not just fun. But for El," he explained.
Realizing that the entertainment world is full of uncertainty, Vinessa is currently studying psychology. While working, he was upgrading himself.
"Fortunately, I don't just shoot, I join the brand campaign. Brand ambassador for skin care, there are still many things I can do besides filming. Because shooting is also uncertain, sometimes there are sometimes not. So how do I just manage the money," he explained.
Investment is a priority for Vinessa. "Fortunately, I'm not a hedon girl who likes shopping. If I have money I collect, be patient, how can I get propety with the existing money. You have to save, but you have to think about yourself to make yourself happy," he explained.
Learning ability and persistence are the keys to Vinessa's success. "From 2012 I have received endorsements that have not been paid, continue to be paid Rp. 50,000, Rp. 200 thousand I just live. Because I'm sure a market like this will not be able to stop. While humans are still eating, they still need cellphones, this will not stop," he explained. .
Now, after the ecommerce world is very prominent, Vinessa seems to be reaping the fruits of her patience. "In the past, it wasn't mushrooming now, but I just went in first, I'm working on it until now. During the pandemic I still had a brand campaign when shooting stopped. Now I even have 2-3 times of live ecommerses very regularly. Now I can get double digits from the ecommerse. , "he admits proudly.
The most important thing now, Vinessa Inez admits that she is happy with all of her activities. "I am very happy, Allah gives good fortune to my child through me. I will never forget my son. Whatever my income I set aside for my own child's savings. At least for education funds is safe. Happy can do this yourself. Produce something, especially this is the process of renovating the house. for El, "he insisted.
As a single mother, Vinessa Inez realizes that El needs a father figure to grow and develop. But unfortunately, until now there has been no good intention from his father to meet his baby.
"I am always open to her father to meet El at home. But they never come. So if they suddenly arrive it is too late. Too late, all this time the ones who give love are me and my family," he explained.
Vinessa Inez accustoms El to interacting with many people so that the void can be filled. Even Vinessa likes to take her on the set.
"El grew up very smart, very extraordinary. Many people invited to chat, he was very happy baby. I believe if we are positive about living life, then good things will come to us," he concluded.
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