YOGYAKARTA Having sex with an ex is driven by many factors based on preferences, personality, or past relationship status. Sex with a former partner, classified as casual sex, can be dangerous. But on the other hand, there is no commitment to provide an opportunity to develop other aspects of life.

There is no definite reason why a person has sex with his ex-partner. According to licensed therapist who focuses on relationships and marriage, Nicole Arzt, LMFT., sex with an ex is often done to find comfort or intimacy. Sometimes sex with an ex can last for several months or years. Occurs in many cases, a person still has emotional feelings with his ex-partners that hinders the ability to recover and continue life.

The study, reported by Choosing Therapy, Monday, February 17, shows that 27 percent of those aged 17-24 have sex with their ex within a period of 2 years. In addition, 22 percent of people who separate from their partners reported having sex with their ex-partners in the last 4 months. The most common reason, because there are still feelings, looking for closures at the end of relationships, intimacy or security, does not accept rejection, separation, uncertainty, or boredom in the current relationship. Here, an explanation of the pros and cons of having sex with ex-partners.

For people who have pro preferences for sex with their exes, they may feel turmoil and exciting. Many people feel that having sex with their ex gives them a sense of calm during vulnerable times. Here are the reasons why people benefit from having sex with ex:

Ending a relationship can lead to sadness due to breakup, it feels uncomfortable and painful. Sex doesn't necessarily fix those feelings. But in some people, sex can help forget someone they love. Sex can also relieve hatred and hostility if the relationship ends badly.

People often add new things and health in their sex life. Sex with exes often feels taboo, but for some cases it can be fun. Having sex with an ex can also be predicted and feels safe. For this reason, people may be more interested in having sex with an ex than with a new partner.

Because they already know what sex is like with their exes, they generally know how to arouse each other's passions. So there is a better chance of getting pleasure and orgasm. Maybe, the two couples who have separated do not feel sexual satisfaction with a new relationship, so having sex with an ex can be a more enjoyable experience.

Some people feel much less pressure when having sex with their ex than their new partner. Breaking up can also encourage both parties to be more open to trying out the emotional things they previously ignored.

Generally, people return together after separation. Although clear communication and reassess what needs to be changed, many couples finding through sex can revive their relationship.

In addition to paying attention to pro views on sexual intercourse with ex, it is also important to see why a person restricts relationships with his ex-partner.

Having sex with an ex can be complicated because it is considered risky. This is the reason why people are against having sex with ex:

Because they have separated, of course two people who used to couple need to release emotional ties. Having sex with an ex, can maintain emotional attachment to each other. Although there are also couples who separate and commit to bondless sex.

Some people feel sorry after having sex with their ex. Sex can reopen old wounds and trigger complex feelings that are difficult to overcome.

Couples may decide to get back together after sex. Although this decision may initially seem intelligent, they soon realized that it was not the best move. This can hurt and confused so that it is difficult for both parties to live it.

Some people cannot immediately recover after separating from their partners. Sexual contact often blurs boundaries and can make it difficult to focus on dating or meeting new people. So sexual intercourse with an ex, not the best idea and can lead to long-term implications.

Sex can create diverting and blurring judgments. Sometimes, sex can cause people to forget why they separate from their partner. Sex with an ex can also ex ex exacerbate confusion to move on with life in the future.

In addition to understanding pros and kotra views on sex with ex, this experience can also be a symptom of a problematic mindset or behavior. Sometimes, this can be part of a bigger mental health problem. For example, dependence with the former, a compulsive sexual tendency, depression, an anxious style of engagement, and dependent personality disorders.


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