Make Life More Calm, This Is A Way To Stop Being A People Pleaser

Illustration of people pleaser (Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio)

JAKARTA - Hopes and goals in the new year are not only about careers, but can also develop oneself to change the detrimental nature of oneself. One of them is the nature of being a people pleaser.

In Indonesian, people pleaser means someone who likes to please others. Having this trait is actually not a problem, but it will have a bad impact on mental health if it is done excessively.

Some of the side effects that can be caused are frustration, anxiety, stress, loss of identity, unhealthy relationships, and anger. Therefore, this trait must be changed immediately, and you can change it in the following ways, quoted from Verywell Mind, on Monday, January 20, 2025.

A people pleaser will find it difficult to refuse orders or requests from others. Therefore, you must set healthy boundaries in personal or work life, so that you stop being a people pleaser. When someone violates these boundaries, stick to them and do not obey those who are not your business.

The next way to stop being people pleasers is to train self-compassion or empathize or share love with yourself. A people pleaser will feel guilty when rejecting other people's requests.

Try not to think about the guilt, prioritize yourself. Take place in yourself, say good things to yourself, and think that you need to put yourself first over others.

Train yourself not to make excuses when rejecting others. Making additional excuses can make a person change his request, so that you are willing to accept or do so. It is recommended for you to simply say 'no' and there is no need to give a reason, to prevent other requests.