JAKARTA - Director Rudi Soedjarwo began to realize many things when he entered the director's profession at the age of 25. Where he admitted that he realized that there were many mistakes in his past as a director who was also an ordinary human being towards film crews which according to him had left many wounds.
"Actually, I'm not trying to show off 25 years of work because it's an achievement or not at all. In fact, it's actually more than 20 (years), but it's just not nice if it's 27, 28, 29, I don't think it's nice to be the title of an event like that," said Rudi Soedjarwo in an exclusive interview with VOI, Thursday, May 30.
"But in the past 25 years I have just realized something that it turns out that there were a lot of mistakes I made as a human being in the decades-long process as a brother, as a human being, maybe as a father, and maybe how I went from crew to cast, maybe there were some emotional words are unintentional which makes them possibly have wounds," he added.
Therefore, Rudi said that he wanted to take advantage of marking 25 years of work with a moment of apology and gratitude to the people he was grateful for who had helped him in carrying out his profession.
Not only did he apologize, but he also wanted to thank these people who have played an important role in his career. Not without reason, Rudi realized that he was getting older so he couldn't waste any more time.
"Well, I want this moment to be a moment where we are, yes, I will apologize to them and will say that I am also grateful and pleased to those who have been part of this, not showing off about me. Because in my opinion, if I don't celebrate it now, in the end it will just be a matter of our film being launched, but I want to celebrate it because I want to be a better person to my children. The way to do it is just to apologize for what I have lacked in the past 20 years," said Rudi.
"And thanks and gratitude, these people are the most important part, even if we have a fight, it breaks out or something, that's a permanent part, and that's what I really want because I'm 53 years old and if not, now I think if we just meet. Without our intention, the words will definitely not come out, at most just 'Eh, what bro?', but we won't really feel that this is really coming from my heart," he explained.
"I have a lot of problems when it seems like success comes too early, the first film that was big, Bintang Jatuh, was an indie movie, my film finished, right? Ada APa Dengan Cinta was a success too early for me actually, for some people, 'You're lucky', yes, but right? After that, we still have to process it," he added.
"Well, when it's too early, while I'm still in the process, there are a lot of competitions that people making movies, but we've already experienced this much success, but when suddenly, if there's our movie and nobody watch, it makes us drops. It's better that from the start the film is ordinary, but as time goes on, it gets better, I think. Like that, then the first one immediately had two and a half million viewers, and for example the second film, if it wasn't shown on cinemas, no one watched it, so we went 'crazy'," explained Rudi Soedjarwo.
Film As Spiritual Journey
Rudi Soedjarwo said that he no longer has a target in creating work at the age of 53. The reason is that he feels that when he targets to make a work, he cannot get pleasure from continuously producing a film, he prefers to just flow with his work, especially in the film industry.
Not only that, spontaneity is also needed for him to continue working even though he knows the risks involved will be much greater. However, he advised that when you fail, you must stand up again and continue working.
“Well, when you target something it's not pleasant, so in my opinion it should flow and be spontaneous. Spontaneous means like this when something comes up, come on, be spontaneous, don't think too much about it because if we've already thought about it, it's over. There are risks, yes it's clear, but life is a risk, how do we fail, how do we success, we can back up. Stand up again, brush again, learn from it, move on. I made a mistake three times before I could move on. Like forgetting again, 'oh yeah, yesterday it was like that, why is it like this again now? Oh yeah, let's do it' but it was too late. And that's my style," added Rudi.
"That's why I'm making this now, the anxiety in my heart was when I had a stroke for 2 years, in 2019, we just went 'crazy', I was given a stroke and was cured and then I was able to make another film, that was the first film, Sayap-Sayap Patah. I was given a good film, which means that God wanted me to have a role as a filmmaker, so that's what we have to take advantage of," he said.
Not without reason, this was done by Rudi Soedjarwo because he considers that film is now a spiritual journey which makes him realize that as a human being, working as a director is just a role and not just a profession.
“No, actually, when I film now it's a spiritual journey. Maybe the older people already know, because in my opinion, because I make films with spiritual awareness that as a human being, this is a role, if directing is not a profession but a role, that's how to make a living, it's our nature as humans to want to earn money, eat, right, what is our role as humans?," he added
"Well, I think this is clear, I am making a film involving new talents from the 300 million population of Indonesia, then I have to convey the concerns that exist on social media. I think that's my role, that's why I'm such a director. Maybe that's my position here. There are various genres. We can also package this film in the horror genre. For example, there are a lot of bullies, right? It's just packaging, genre, clothing, but the content can still cause social unrest," he said.
Finally, Rudi Soedjarwo shared a dream that he has not yet been able to realize, namely producing a role film as a sign of respect for his father who was a student soldier. But he realized that it was not easy to make a war film.
“It's always there, so in my opinion, we have to dream. If we are finished, if we are no longer anxious, we are no longer dreaming, it means we have stopped dreaming, we just carry out our routine. That's what actually scares me the most. If it's 100 years, 90 years, that's okay. But if I still feel old because of the kids around me, my players think 'how old are you?', '50', damn old already. Finally, we are aiming that dreams are always there," he continued.
Well, my dream, what I really want is to make a war film. But it's expensive and difficult, but I really want it because my father used to be a student soldier. At the age of 14, 16, he had to go to war. It's actually interesting, the archives, what they sacrificed. So it's cool to wear shorts, not a uniform, in the old days, it was guerrilla warfare. It's definitely cool, if it's destined I will make my hopes come true," said Rudi Soedjarwo, closing the interview with VOI.
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