YOGYAKARTA Being open to making new friendships, or being open to close friends and partners, is not always easy for some people. Openness sometimes creates emotional and honest pressure about the vulnerable side of others. Of course, for people with certain characters, it is easier to build a high wall and hide behind it. Why does someone not like to open up to new friendships even to their friends or partners? This is the cause.

Some people may have a bad past. Because of that, they find it difficult to open up to others as a mechanism for self-defense. Not because they are unable to be honest and as they are, but a bad experience forming them to take a safe distance. A traumatic experience, makes a person afraid to express his feelings because they think the vulnerability can strike back.

If someone is a quiet person, or introvert, it can be understood that they rarely let other people know what they think or feel. They prefer to keep personal information for themselves. Personal, is one of the reasons why a person is closed. It's not impossible to change, but people with introvert personalities need to learn skills to slowly open themselves up and stay comfortable to be themselves.

A person may become quiet, closed, and not be skilled at socializing because they are raised by a family with the same character. They grew up in a scope that stipulates rules prohibiting all forms of expression. Launching Love Panky, Monday, November 20, you may spend a lot of childhood playing alone or with your siblings only. So when you leave the house, you are not good at making new friendships or it takes a long time to make friends.

The third factor that causes a person not to be good at opening up is because of a bad past experience in shaping suspicion of others. For example, being cut off with the community because they have been betrayed. A negative experience related to openness can easily cause someone to stop doing it again to prevent a bad experience from happening again.

Some people do not want to open up because they think they are not attractive or not important. These negative self-images lead to more widespread self-restraints to open friendships. People with negative self-images, always believe that others judge them for any action, appearance, and expertise. In fact, everyone has a meaningful 'presence' aspect so that they can establish healthy relationships.

The five reasons why you don't like opening up above can be overcome gradually. Starting from realizing that you need to be friends as a social being to learning to accept vulnerabilities and finding the same interests as people who are invited to be friends.


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