JAKARTA - An abundance of attention and affection from your partner is something that feels most needed when you are in a relationship. But sometimes, being overly cared for can actually make you uncomfortable or feel constrained.

When this happens, you must be wondering, is your partner giving attention because they are affectionate or they are restraining?

The term 'affection or restraint' describes a form of 'protective or possessive' attention. You may not realize that the form of attention from your partner all this time actually leads to possessiveness which turns out to make you uncomfortable.

The meaning of possessiveness as quoted from halodoc, Thursday, February 11 is a trait that makes a person feel like your owner. This sense of belonging and protecting makes a person feel they have the right to rule over someone else's life.

Possessiveness is actually often found in a relationship. Because this trait indicates a sense of 'belonging' and wanting to 'protect' one another. But it would be better if the possessive level can be adjusted in such a way so that it will not cause discomfort that leads to breaking up.

Healthy and good relationships should be based on protective attention. In contrast to possessiveness, protection is a sense of belonging and protecting but still accompanied by a sense of respect as well as putting the happiness of the partner first.

The difference between possessiveness and protection is clear to you. If a partner shows the impression of wanting to have you completely, then this behavior can be said to be possessive, while a protective partner wants to protect but still prioritizes your happiness.

Possessiveness can also come from within yourself. For example, when an assumption comes to mind that you only belong to your partner. In fact, the right attitude is when you or your partner make room for yourself and others.

The thing that can be done in dealing with a possessive partner is to find out in advance the cause of this possessive nature. Possessive people generally have a traumatic background about their past, so they behave in this way. For that, try to convince your partner that you really love them.

Keep in mind, having a partner doesn't mean you have full rights to know all of their privacy. Providing personal space is one way of having a healthy relationship. Don't let the relationship ruin because of possessiveness. Create individual boundaries so that the relationship feels more comfortable and filled with mutual trust.


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