Tend To Focus On Yourself When Chatting With People, It Turns Out That This Is Caused

Illustration focuses on yourself while chatting with people (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA Fun chat is certainly a balanced portion. Including when someone tells the story of themselves, it will not dominate the topic of conversation. But if you've been in a chat that is dominated by chatting about yourself, of course there's a reason. If according to psychological research, conversations that focus on yourself, are selfish conversations and describe someone who is insensitive. However, it turns out that more than that, Amanda Rose, Ph.D., researched about it.

In his research, Rose observed how common and to what extent people focus on themselves. Through encoding data from 15 minutes of conversation with a teenager, Rose and his fellow researchers found several things related to mental behavior and health.

People who focus on themselves describe confusing behavior, especially when in a circle of chat. This indicates that their behavior does not fit the goal. On the one hand, they seek attention, affirmation, validation, and support. But because of their behavior, it keeps people away so as not to get what they are looking for.

So why do people like to engage in conversations and divert to topics about themselves? For some people, according to research based on the classic classic psychology theory of the 1970s reported by Psychology Today, Sunday, May 21, it relates to depression. This teaser was developed by James Coyne, namely the theory of interpersonal depression. Coyne speculates that people who are depressed engage in unreciable and high intimate problems''. In other words, people who hijack conversations to focus only on their own problems can actually become depressed rather than just being rude or insensitive.

In fact, people who are depressed think differently about their problems. They tend to focus on themselves. When people are sad, worried, and desperate, they tend to reflect on or think about their problems over and over again. Because so focused on personal problems, a person's view of the world becomes very narrow and has little space left for others.

Rose's research was followed by teenagers and adults. Research found that people involved in conversations focused on themselves are more depressed than people who don't. If your interlocutors dominate and tend to talk about themselves, maybe they don't fully realize it.

Rose's advice, it's important to have clear boundaries about how long you'll be listening to. It's also important to talk to them, it aims to give the interlocutor the opportunity to improve behavior. As far as you can, try to remember that they may suffer. It doesn't mean you have to ignore your own needs, but be a patient listener helps them a little.