Become An Emotional Parent, Potentially Breaking The Trauma Chain

Illustration of adult parents emotionally (Freepik/Lifestylemory)

YOGYAKARTA Many parents grow up with emotional parents. Because they don't realize it, trauma seems like a condition that needs to be accepted and maintained in every generation. For example, a child may understand that his parents can't maintain emotional closeness. They will probably do the same situation as his children. A moment together and then stay away the minute after. In the end, they struggle not to do the same thing and become close friends of their children.

Unfortunately, parents who are emotionally immature often care for their children withXishness and persistent attitude. This is because they themselves feel neglected in their childhood. Therefore, every parent needs to recognize trauma, heal, so they don't have the potential to repeat the trauma loop to the next generation. Launching a review of Annie Tanasgarun, Ph.D., CCTSA, in Psychology Today, Thursday, November 17, if not cured, repetition of trauma is at higher risk in the next generation of children.

Tanasugarn divides the four types of parents who are not emotionally mature. Among other things, here is an explanation.

Parents who demand advantages, perfection, and unrealistic demands on themselves and their children are called helicopter parenting. These parents often violate children's private space. Children who are raised with this parenting, often become perfectionists, excel, and are very critical of themselves. Maybe, they also behave compulsively, like working crazy or like shopping to make themselves feel more valuable.

The changing emotional aspects, from extreme to extremal, seem very dramatic. They often overreact to situations and appear helpless or desperately need help. At the other end of the spectrum, these emotionally irregular parents can be seen cynically, belittled, and cold to their children. Often people who are irregular emotions may experience trauma of their own irrecurable entanglement.

Parents who are emotionally immature and take distance, like to spend time alone. They may not want to be disturbed by parenting or emotions. If they have to interact with their children, perhaps demanding or verbally rude. If a child is raised with a parental type who tends to distance themselves, they tend to be indecisive in determining the relationship. Not infrequently underestimates or avoids others so it is difficult for them to maintain emotional intimacy.

Many passive parents do not have healthy, inconsistent boundaries, and may be considered parents to be friends of their children. Parents who are passive or emotionally negligent, are unable to take care of themselves like adults.

For children raised by immature parents, it is necessary to regulate emotions so that they are more mature and break the chain of trauma between generations.