YOGYAKARTA – Every relationship is not free from problems. It's not even fair if it's without problems. However, one needs to have certain skills so that one can land comfortably after opinions fly in different directions. According to Bob Taibbi, LSCW, a clinical psychologist with 45 years of experience, solving problems such as the cooking process. Obviously, it requires basic skills such as preparing ingredients, choosing the best quality, to producing delicious food.

Like the Taibbi analogy, relationships also require the same treatment as cooking. He explains about five basic skills that every couple needs to have in solving relationship problems.

1. Control anger

No matter how big the anger, whether it's a small wave or as big as a tsunami, it still needs to be controlled in order to make life easier. There are many ways to control anger. From calming with the breath to managing emotions by developing an attitude of compassion. Of course, everyone has struggled to control anger.

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Illustration of solving problems in a romantic relationship (Unsplash/Pablo Heimplatz)
2. Not much control

Control is often associated with anxiety and controlling. For those who have a lot of control, it has to do with power, manipulation, and using other people as objects to get what they want. If you often feel controlled by your partner, they may feel a lot of anxiety. Conversely, people who trust you to carry out the role or you trust your partner with the role he plays, then the problem will not be difficult to solve.

3. I don't like looking for trouble

Commenting on an issue that isn't a problem can lead to a bigger problem. Like assuming that your partner is too rigid, less romantic, lazy, and so on. If you like looking for trouble, it's certainly not a wise thing in a relationship. Those who easily solve problems, rarely complain. They will understand what to do and have and how to handle it.

4. Digging the root of the problem

Problems are sometimes hidden, so it is necessary to find the root so that it can be solved easily. It's okay if you or your partner make mistakes. But the important thing to understand is to learn from mistakes and get better.

5. Can compromise

Stubbornness is an unwise attitude. Therefore, everyone in a pair needs to compromise. Compromise, explained Taibbi, is not a matter of win-lose. But each can be clear about what's most important and negotiate a deal.

Those are the skills you and your partner need to have to make your relationship easier. Even these skills can be a strength when problems come repeatedly.


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