3 Things That Can Cloud Your Love Relationship

Illustration (Alena Darmel/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Romantic relationships can become fragile and difficult over time. It's no wonder many people give up on their relationships when the road becomes too difficult to walk. However, what people often fail to realize is that there are some basic things that make relationships difficult from the start.

Launching Lifehack, Tuesday, April 19, here are three basic things that people generally do that make their romantic relationships more murky and difficult to live with.

Blaming partner

When someone feels disappointed because their expectations for their partner failed to be met, they will externalize that disappointment to their partner. They incorrectly identify that the cause of the hatred, sadness, or disappointment felt is solely due to the actions or behavior of others. However, blaming can complicate relationships from two perspectives.

First, hurt your partner's feelings. In addition, it sends a clear message about the lack of trust in the partner and the relationship itself. This creates tension and friction that may turn a romantic relationship into a breakup.

The second reason is that it makes someone forget to see the problem within themselves. They fail to see that their own actions are always part of the problem. If one fails to see oneself, chances are that any relationship will be difficult to maintain.

Often rationalize relationships

Some people go into relationships using thoughts, not feelings. Thus, they overanalyze and think about how things are going or what to do next. Sometimes they judge the success or health of a relationship based on their mental state. Love relationships are assessed and evaluated continuously.

The danger of rationalizing relationships is that they gradually form expectations and, as explained earlier, expectations create difficulties. More importantly, overanalyzing makes it difficult for people to let relationships flow naturally and spontaneously. In fact, this is an important ingredient for cultivating a healthy relationship. This prevents a person from responding to others from the heart because they filter interactions with others based on rationalizations of the mind.

Too quick to judge

Some people tend to be too quick to judge even for unreasonable things. Even with the best of intentions, judging someone is the quickest and most effective way to create problems in a relationship.

You can never make a correct judgment about someone, even if you have a lot of information about them or have known them for a long time. Your judgment of someone is a result of the emotions you feel for that person. If you think he is well-behaved, then you tend to think of him as good, and vice versa.

Judging someone also labels and limits the freedom of the other person's emotional response because in judging someone says "You are this or you are not this". It shapes or distorts how both parties will see each other and themselves through the relationship.